The Five Perceptual Positions

Understanding the different ways we can perceive experiences gives us powerful tools for managing our emotional states and improving communication. In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), these are called the first, second, and third perceptual positions, with two additional positions described in more recent literature.

1. First Position: “I” – Seeing Through Your Own Eyes

In the first position, you are fully associated with your own internal reality. You see the world through your own eyes, focusing on your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. In this state, you do not consider the perspectives of others. You simply ask yourself, “How does this conversation affect me?”

2. Second Position: “Other” – Seeing Through Someone Else’s Eyes

The second position means stepping into another person’s shoes. You try to imagine what the other person sees, hears, and feels in a given situation. In this position, you picture yourself in their body, looking at yourself through their eyes. How do you appear? How does your voice sound? What sensations might they experience? This position develops empathy. If you’re involved in a conflict, viewing the situation from the second position can help you become more flexible and understanding. Before shifting into the second position, establish rapport, and notice how it deepens as you do so. The second position is a valuable model for deepening rapport.

3. Third Position: The Observer – A Neutral Perspective

The third position is complete dissociation from the event or dialogue. Here, you become an independent observer, viewing the situation from a neutral, objective standpoint. Ask yourself, “How would this event look to someone completely uninvolved?” Imagine yourself outside your own body, watching both yourself and your interaction partner from the outside.

4. Fourth Position: The System Perspective

In addition to the three classic positions, modern NLP literature describes two more. Robert Dilts (1997) detailed the fourth position in his book “Visionary Leadership Skills.” He defined it as the “We” perspective—seeing from the point of view of the entire system (organization, group, or partnership) you are part of. In this position, you are associated with the perspective of the whole system. To adopt the fourth position, step back and try to imagine what is happening in the system so you can best consider its interests. The linguistic format for this position is: “If we take our shared goals into account…”

5. Fifth Position: The Universal Perspective

In an unpublished manuscript titled “Five Central Ideas,” Atkinson (1997) proposed a fifth, “universal” position. This involves applying universal quantifiers (“everyone,” “always”) to your perspective, serving as a springboard to a broader, more universal viewpoint. This is the highest and broadest level of perspective.

Universal quantifiers are statements that generalize characteristics from a sample to an entire population, such as “everyone,” “always,” “never,” “none,” etc. These statements do not allow for exceptions.

By taking this meta-position, you can learn to adopt multiple perspectives and even switch between them quickly. This increases your mental flexibility, so you don’t get “stuck” in any one position. The fifth position can also include a “historical” perspective—considering changes over time.

No Position Is Superior

None of these positions is better than the others; all are equally important. A skilled communicator knows how to move between positions as needed. Imagine what would happen if you got “stuck” in just one position:

• Someone stuck in the first position would be egocentric. Do you know anyone who lives only from their own perspective?
• Someone stuck in the second position would be overly influenced by others’ opinions. In NLP classes, when I (B.B.) explain the second position and mention that people living in it tend to let others’ states determine their own, I say: “The second position is the position of mutual dependence.” Almost always, several students sigh, realizing why they let others control their state and how this mechanism works.
• Someone stuck in the third position becomes detached and unfeeling. Others may see them as “heartless.” In fact, I’ve found that people who live in the third position often see themselves as hermits. Many, though not all, also have characteristics of an auditory-digital personality. These people become thinkers and philosophers. A detached life allows for objective analysis of facts.

Everyone shifts between positions, usually on a daily basis. The ability to consciously or unconsciously change positions allows a person to act wisely and respond appropriately. By changing your perceptual position, you make your communication more vivid and gain freedom of choice.

Exercise: Exploring Perceptual Positions

Try the following experiment. Recall the last time you had a serious argument with someone. See what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel what you felt—associate with your own body (first position). Do you feel the same negative emotions you did then?

Now imagine “floating” out of your body and stepping into the body of the person you argued with (second position). Look at yourself through their eyes. Notice how you appeared during the argument. What tone did you use? How do you feel when you see and hear yourself from their perspective?

Now imagine yourself completely dissociated from the event (third position). Step aside to a place where you can see both yourself and the other person during the argument. How does the argument look from this dissociated perspective? Pay attention to your reactions and sensations, and how they differ in each position. Has your perception of the argument changed now that you’ve experienced all three positions? Would your reactions have been different if you had done this during the argument?