The Benefits of Negative Emotions for People
Negative emotions are often seen as something to avoid, but they actually play an important role in our lives. Let’s explore how emotions like contempt, anger, shame, and guilt can be beneficial for individuals and society.
Contempt
Contempt acts as a powerful glue that helps reinforce group norms. As Aristotle once said, humans are social animals and cannot live outside of society or a group. But how do we strengthen a group? By building its norms and values and criticizing those who violate them.
For those who break these norms, contempt gives them a choice: either stop violating the rules or find a group where their behavior is accepted. In Moscow, there’s a saying: “This person has become unshakable,” meaning someone has done something so unacceptable that others refuse to shake their hand.
Contempt makes us reflect: do we really need that “barrel of jam and chest of cookies” if it means losing respect?
Anger
Anger is a complicated emotion and not something to joke about. Unexpressed anger is a major cause of many psychosomatic illnesses, according to doctors and psychologists. In fact, unexpressed anger can be deadly.
However, expressing anger is considered positive only when it’s done to maintain healthy relationships with others. Anger can be useful in several ways:
- It gives us strength and courage to face obstacles.
- It boosts our self-confidence.
- It reduces fear in dangerous situations.
There’s an old parable about a dog. The dog was dying of thirst by a puddle, but every time it tried to drink, it saw its reflection and mistook it for another dog, which scared it. One day, the dog got angry, barked at its “enemy,” and the water’s surface broke, making the reflection disappear. The dog was finally able to drink and overcame its irrational fear.
For people, anger should be conscious. We need to understand the true source of our frustration. Often, we get angry at the wrong things. To start uncovering the real reasons for our anger (or its offshoot, hatred), we must first admit: feeling anger is normal. Never try to hide it inside, thinking it makes you a bad person.
Shame
We heard a lot about shame as children, but much of it was forgotten as we grew up and were taught to “achieve” at various seminars. Even those who never attended such events have felt the influence of this trend. The culture of consumerism is contagious.
Companies that want “sales managers” on the phone often promote the idea that negative emotions should not exist. By trying to eliminate negative emotions, they destroy what makes us human. First, it’s impossible to get rid of them completely, and people end up feeling ashamed for not being as cheerful as “everyone else.”
If a living person (who should experience all ten basic emotions) manages to suppress most of them, they become like a robot. The so-called “yuppie era” in American culture showed that society doesn’t function well without negative emotions. “Happy” people aren’t necessarily happier.
Shame arises when we realize our inappropriateness or inadequacy in a situation. Thanks to our ability to feel shame, we notice others around us and learn cultural norms. Fear of shame pushes us to develop physically and emotionally, follow social rules, care about hygiene, and grow as individuals.
Shame shapes a healthy sense of self. Like a sculptor’s chisel, it removes what’s unnecessary, leaving a well-formed and beautiful self. Thanks to shame, we haven’t turned our lives into chaos.
Guilt
Guilt goes even further than shame. It motivates us to correct situations. Thanks to guilt, the normal order of things can be restored without divine intervention. A person’s character may never fully develop without experiencing guilt.
Guilt creates an inner conflict, and to resolve it and “sleep peacefully,” a person starts to act. Guilt awakens our humanity, develops our creativity (how can I make amends?), and helps us use our full potential.
In conclusion, negative emotions are not just obstacles to happiness—they are essential tools for personal growth, social harmony, and self-improvement.