Psychological Defense Techniques: How to Withstand Emotional Attacks

If you get stung by one or even several bees, it might actually benefit your health. But if you’re attacked by a swarm of wasps or bitten by a venomous snake, the consequences can be dire. Your competitors, ill-wishers, or enemies can cause you just as much harm by using hurtful words as psychological weapons. The longer you dwell on these attacks, the more likely you are to end up on the losing side.

“If a person shows irritation and can’t control their emotions, they should do something else, not work with people,” confidently stated Michel Fadoul, a Frenchman who achieved outstanding success in global business.

Psychological resilience is a trait of a mature personality. It consists of a whole set of characteristics, such as intelligence level, worldview, attentiveness, analytical and reflective abilities, critical thinking, and emotional stability.

Ask yourself and others the “magic questions” more often: what, where, when, how, why, and for what purpose? Try to see the full panorama and dynamics of an event, notice contradictions, inconsistencies, and gaps, and pay close attention to details. These details are essential for assessing the reliability of information.

Here are several psychological defense techniques developed and tested in our training sessions:

The “Fan” Technique

Analyze what triggers you the most. What irritates you? What makes you furious or plunges you into despair? Recall specific words, tones, or gestures from your opponents or offenders.

Close your eyes and remember the most hurtful, stinging, or burning words that make you feel lost, worthless, or trigger strong aggression. Now, imagine you’re sitting across from the person delivering these psychological blows. As they say these cruel words, you feel yourself starting to react. Notice where in your body you feel the impact. Do you feel heat, tightness, or maybe your breath catches? What exactly happens to you?

Now use the “emotional ventilation” technique. Imagine a powerful fan between you and your offender, instantly blowing their words away so their sharp arrows never reach you.

Additionally, make a “fig sign” (a thumb between the index and middle finger) with your right hand and cover it with your left palm. Mentally direct this gesture at the person trying to throw you off balance. Remember how this same gesture helped you “get back” at bullies as a child.

Open your eyes, and you’ll likely feel more capable of withstanding such psychological attacks.

The “Aquarium” Technique

If you continue to react painfully to negativity from others, try this method. Imagine a thick glass aquarium wall between you and your offender. They say something unpleasant, but you only see them—their words are muffled by the water, bubbling up to the surface as harmless foam. Their words can’t reach you. You remain calm and composed, refusing to react to provocations or insults. This way, you turn the situation in your favor.

The “Disneyland” Technique

You can soften or even neutralize the pain of a psychological blow by treating everyone as if they were small children. After all, you don’t get offended by little kids, do you?

Imagine you’re alone against a group of people who are negative toward you. The odds are against you. Your only chance is to picture them as a group of children on a playground. They’re angry, throwing tantrums, yelling, waving their arms, tossing toys on the floor, stomping on them—doing everything they can to get a reaction from you. But as the wise adult, you treat their antics as childish mischief and remain unflappable until they tire themselves out. You don’t take their words as insults or react to their provocations. As an adult, you might even find it amusing to watch…

The “Fox and Grapes” Technique

If you’ve experienced situations in the past where someone managed to hurt you so deeply that the pain of defeat still lingers, use the technique of rationalization to remove negative “anchors.” Remember the fable “The Fox and the Grapes”: unable to reach the grapes, the fox said she didn’t really want them anyway—they were sour and unripe.

The “Ocean of Calm” Technique

Picture yourself as the main character in the parable: “The ocean receives the waters of many turbulent rivers, yet remains unmoved. The one into whom all thoughts and emotions flow remains passionless and at peace.”

The “Theater of the Absurd” Technique

You can use this psychological defense by taking the situation to the point of absurdity. It’s like making a mountain out of a molehill—exaggerate what someone is only hinting at until it becomes unrecognizable, thus unexpectedly disarming your adversaries. Your goal is to make any attack from an ill-wisher provoke nothing but laughter. That’s how you protect yourself from psychological attacks.

The “Puppet Theater” Technique

If you find it difficult to communicate with people who are emotionally significant to you, use this method. Imagine they are just caricatured characters from a puppet show. Let them say silly things to each other while you simply observe and make your own judgments. For example, “This guy is pretending to be a superhero, and that one is acting like a strong professional, but he’s really just bluffing.” Keep playing out this scene until you start to laugh. Your laughter is a sign that the technique has worked.