Provocative Therapy: Frank Farrelly’s Patterns

Frank Farrelly is considered one of the most interesting and effective therapists of our time. He created his own approach, “Provocative Therapy,” which he demonstrates successfully at seminars. At first glance, it’s clear that during his sessions he uses a large number of reframings and language patterns—very effectively, too. Most NLP practitioners can only create some reframings and language patterns (but not the ones that really work), because while NLP describes the construction of reframing and language patterns in detail, there’s almost no structured information on how to make them truly effective for the client. Farrelly’s methods work, which is why modeling his strategy is a coveted goal for many NLPers, myself included. In fact, many NLPers attend his trainings, and he often pokes fun at them—though he’s quite knowledgeable about NLP techniques himself.

Sample exchange:

• Frank, how do you decide what to do with a client?
  I see 28 screens with possible actions and pick the first one I see.
• What do you do?
  I train NLPers.
• What brings you here?
  I have a problem.
• There are no problems in NLP—only patterns. You need to break the pattern!

Frank Farrelly’s strategy is truly fascinating—how many people do you know who can solve a person’s problem in half an hour, including both information gathering and the intervention itself? And solve it at a much deeper level than the client initially presents? Personally, I don’t know anyone else who can do this—except Frank. That’s why I want to model his approach, to be able to do the same, or maybe even better (just kidding). What follows isn’t a full strategy, but some patterns I’ve noticed. The article includes some speech examples, but Farrelly really needs to be watched—so much of his work is nonverbal and can’t be conveyed in text.

Unusual Patterns: Justifying Problematic Behavior

One of Farrelly’s more unusual patterns is constructing language patterns and reframings that justify the client’s problematic behavior or state. These are built according to all the rules of language patterns, but with a twist—they’re based on values that aren’t important to the client. This provokes the client to find arguments for change themselves—in other words, Frank provokes the client to motivate themselves, rather than motivating them directly.

Example Dialogue:

• Client: I’ve been addicted to smoking for thirteen years.
• Frank: You need it.
• Frank: Did you say “thirty”? Okay—do you realize many women die before reaching thirty? You’ve already outlived millions—children, girls, young women.
• Client: But my lungs are pretty sick.
• Frank: All the more reason not to worry or quit smoking. Why bother—they’re already sick.
• Client: I think I’ll die before I have a stroke.
• Frank: Oh, many people thought that—but it didn’t work out for them. You know, there are so many “vegetables” we keep alive.
• Frank: No, in three years, you might have an attack—bam. It’s possible. Some people say, “I could get lung cancer.” Oh, that’s what doctors say. I say, “Not necessarily—you could have a heart attack. Or a stroke and lose your ability to speak.” Yes, yes. I can see you having a stroke.
• Client: That’s fate.
• Frank: Absolutely! Nothing you can do. Why fight your own fate?
• Frank: If you have a stroke, they won’t let you smoke. See how simple it is? In the end, you finally stop smoking—end of story. And then you’ll be lying there helpless, unable to speak.
• Client: I said from the start, I’m very lucky.
• Frank: You’re very lucky—so why not keep smoking and celebrate? Besides, tobacco companies need help. Have you heard what they’re doing to poor tobacco companies in the US? They want to sue them for $300 billion. Someone has to smoke to pay for all that. Every time you go “cough-cough,” tell yourself, “I’m helping poor tobacco companies pay their bills.”
• Frank: [Coughs like a smoker] Ha! Do you have a morning cough?
• Client: Uh-huh.
• Frank: Do you cough during the day?
• Client: No.
• Frank: See, you have something to look forward to. Cough-cough. Yes, it’s part of the pleasure. Even though it makes you cough, you bravely keep smoking. And besides, you still have some lung capacity left. Maybe you should smoke three packs a day?

Reframings and Language Patterns

As mentioned, Farrelly’s interventions are largely built on reframings and language patterns. Often, these are quite grotesque (to reduce the perceived seriousness of the problem). Here are some examples:

• Oksana: No, my problem is called “addiction.”
• Frank: Addiction? What, other people are addicted to you?
• Frank: Thirty!? But you look tiny and young. But if you have a cigarette in your hand, people might think, “What’s that little girl smoking?” Ha.
• Once, a doctor came up for a demonstration and said he had a problem—he wanted to quit smoking. I told him, “Why? Eventually, you’ll quit. I absolutely guarantee it. Maybe it’ll be when you have only half a lung left, and the other lung and half of that are removed because of cancer. Then you’ll have a laryngectomy because your whole throat is affected. But you can still smoke. Cough-cough. Right?”
• Frank: Your husband can look forward to a long, long marriage. Well, if you survive. But if you only have three years left. When you have a cerebral aneurysm or heart dysfunction—those are other words for stroke. He might as well start looking for your replacement now. Cough-cough. Ha-ha.
• Client: I think he’ll die first.
• Frank: Maybe it’s time to start planning the funeral? No need for expensive coffins—just cremation. Wouldn’t it be great if two smokers were cremated together? Cough-cough. Burn, baby, burn. And then you could be buried in a cigarette box. “She wanted her ashes in a cigarette box.” Very charming.
• Frank: Who’s the man in your family—you or Tatiana?
• Client: Uh, well…
• Farrelly: Yes, yes, you’ve already answered. If a man hesitates, the answer is clear.
• Frank: So what’s the problem?
• Client: I’m stuck and can’t make a decision… between two options. I want a harmonious family, but I feel like I don’t love my wife enough.
• Frank: If you truly loved her, harmony would always prevail.

Key Values

To quote Yulia Sinareva:

“The topics he probes: sex, death, status, power, and other high values. Thus, from any minor problem, he moves to global contexts—self-realization, money, family, self-preservation, and so on. It’s almost impossible to protect or keep any topic closed—the more the client shows they don’t want to talk about something, the more persistently Farrelly goes there. The goal is to help the person break through their fear: either to see there’s nothing so scary there, to discover a stockpile of resources, or to uncover the real issue causing the stated symptom.”

• Client: Well, I think it would be better [to quit smoking]—life would improve.
• Frank: Oh, everyone says that, but it’s not necessarily true. Besides, don’t you look more grown-up with a cigarette in your hand? Say “yes.” Because you look like a teenager.
• Frank: Have you ever felt, “Another day, another week, oh my God.” No? You never think, “Enough, I’ve been there, done that, bought the T-shirt”?
• Frank: How many cigarettes do you smoke a day?
• Client: Two packs—well, forty.
• Frank: Two packs—I used to smoke two and a half. For decades. Two packs—so what. I’m sixty. How long do you think you’ll live before you go to your eternal reward? [Takes Oksana’s hand] Oh, my sweet little hand, so cold.
• Frank: No, in three years, you might have an attack—bam. It’s possible. Some people say, “I could get lung cancer.” Oh, that’s what doctors say. I say, “Not necessarily—you could have a heart attack.” [Acts like a stroke victim] Guhhh. And you’ll have a stroke and won’t be able to speak. Yes, yes. I can see you having a stroke.
• Client: I think I’ll die before I have a stroke.
• Frank: Oh, many people thought that—but it didn’t work out for them. You know, there are so many “vegetables” we keep alive. Then, they lose control over… well, you know what I mean. Just lean over, lean over. [Looks behind Oksana] “Oh, an accident,” they say. “Oh-oh, time to change the diapers. Yes, we’ll make sure you smell nice.” They’ll lift your shirt, take off your pants, change your diapers: “Now you feel better.”

Making Values Tangible

Values themselves are pretty abstract—they’re often expressed as nominalizations like “justice,” “status,” “death,” “health.” So, some values may be important to a person, but still feel “distant and unclear.” For example, for most teenagers, “health” is a pretty abstract concept. The word is important—few would say health isn’t important—but it’s not really connected to their lives. Or “death”—they know it exists, but not for them. Teenagers and children often believe, “I’ll live forever”—at least, they act that way.

So, it’s often necessary to make a value “felt.” In the city of Yekaterinburg, there are lots of teenagers. Many of them are drawn to prison romance—criminal songs, jokes, style. Local police did something simple—they took them to live in a real prison for a few days. The romance disappeared instantly.

Sometimes, what Farrelly does is make a person feel and believe in the reality of things that matter to them: death, helplessness, health.

• Frank: Have you thought, “When will I die?” And how many years do you have left? Then comes the question: “When will you be forced to die?” and another: “How long do you want to live on this earth?”
• Frank: … Once, a doctor came up for a demonstration and said he had a problem—he wanted to quit smoking. I told him, “Why? Eventually, you’ll quit. I absolutely guarantee it. Maybe it’ll be when you have only half a lung left, and the other lung and half of that are removed because of cancer. Then you’ll have a laryngectomy because your whole throat is affected. But you can still smoke.” Cough-cough. Right?
• Frank: How long do you think you’ll live before you go to your eternal reward? [Takes Oksana’s hand] Oh, my sweet little hand, so cold. Yes, yes, it’ll happen.
• Client: I think I’ll die before I have a stroke.
• Frank: Oh, many people thought that—but it didn’t work out for them. You know, there are so many “vegetables” we keep alive. Then, they lose control over… well, you know what I mean. Just lean over, lean over. [Looks behind Oksana] “Oh, an accident,” they say. “Oh-oh, time to change the diapers. Yes, we’ll make sure you smell nice.” They’ll lift your shirt, take off your pants, change your diapers: “Now you feel better.”

Frank Farrelly’s Therapeutic Strategy from an NLP Perspective

By Yulia Sinareva

1. Calibration!!!
2. Laughs at the problem, not the person.
3. One of the main goals is to create a state of confusion (with slightly inappropriate or offbeat jokes, embedded metaphors, switching topics, authoritarian leading, hypergeneralizations, state collapse, etc.).
4. Works with the timeline: mainly focusing on the future, on the effects that will occur if the current state isn’t changed. He describes extremely negative consequences in sensory detail (calibrating significant contexts and the client’s main fears), associates the client with those outcomes, and speaks in the imperative (this will happen!). This creates such strong negative motivation that the client reaches a threshold where they simply can’t do nothing about their current state—they’re so afraid of the consequences that they’re ready to change.
5. Works with secondary gain: tries to determine (again, through calibration—especially active-negative) how the stated symptom might benefit the client and their close circle—in the past, present, and future. The general motto: “Don’t change under any circumstances!” (especially for polar responders). He uses strong frame expansion. A vivid example: “If you quit smoking, all the tobacco companies will go bankrupt.”
6. Works with responsibility: by any means (metaphors, negative generalizations, expressive nonverbal communication), he leads the client to realize that not only did they create the symptom, but how long they keep it is up to them—plus provocative (absurd) suggestions about what can be done to get rid of the symptom (emphasizing the client’s control).
7. Uses anchors (touch, nodding head or foot, looking in a certain direction, etc.)—to reinforce confusion, bring the person out of an internal trance, maintain resourceful states, etc.
8. Probes topics like sex, death, status, power, and other high values. Thus, from any minor problem, he moves to global contexts—self-realization, money, family, self-preservation, etc. It’s almost impossible to keep any topic closed—the more the client resists, the more persistently Farrelly goes there. The goal is to help the person break through their fear: either to see there’s nothing so scary there, to discover resources, or to uncover the real issue causing the symptom.