The Karpman Drama Triangle

The Karpman Drama Triangle is a psychological and social model of human interaction that maps a type of destructive interaction that can occur among people in conflict. The triangle consists of three roles: the Rescuer, the Persecutor (Aggressor), and the Victim. Once someone enters this “magical” triangle, the roles begin to dictate participants’ choices, reactions, feelings, perceptions, and behaviors. Most importantly, people can freely “swim” between these roles—Victims quickly become Persecutors to their former Rescuers, and Rescuers can just as quickly become Victims of the former Victims.

How the Drama Triangle Works

Imagine someone suffering from something or someone (the “something” or “someone” is the Aggressor). The sufferer is the Victim. The Victim quickly finds a Rescuer, who, for various reasons, tries to help. But here’s the catch: the triangle is “magical.” The Victim doesn’t really want to be freed from the Aggressor, and the Rescuer doesn’t want the Victim to stop being a victim—otherwise, the Rescuer would no longer be needed. Both are unconsciously invested in keeping things as they are: the Victim must suffer, and the Rescuer must help.

• The Victim gets attention and care.
• The Rescuer feels proud of their role in the Victim’s life.
• The Victim rewards the Rescuer with recognition, while the Rescuer pays with attention, time, energy, and emotions.

But the triangle doesn’t stop there. The Victim starts demanding more and more from the Rescuer, who, despite their efforts, can’t truly help (and unconsciously doesn’t want to). The Rescuer’s self-esteem drops, and they become exhausted, while the Victim continues to demand attention. Gradually, the Rescuer becomes the Victim, and the former Victim becomes the Persecutor. The more the Rescuer invested, the more they “owe.” Expectations grow, and the Rescuer is now obligated to fulfill them. The former Victim becomes dissatisfied with the Rescuer, blaming them for their misfortunes, and the Rescuer is now seen as the new Aggressor.

The cycle continues: the Victim seeks new Rescuers, and the former Rescuer, now a Victim, seeks help for themselves. The triangle expands, drawing in more and more people.

Examples of the Drama Triangle

• Little Red Riding Hood: Red Riding Hood is the Victim, the Wolf is the Aggressor, and the Hunters are the Rescuers. The story ends with the Wolf being punished.
• Alcoholic Family: The alcoholic is the Victim of alcohol, the wife is the Rescuer. The alcoholic is also the Aggressor to the wife, who seeks help from a doctor or therapist (new Rescuer). The doctor can become the Victim if he fails, and the wife becomes the Persecutor. The cycle repeats as new Rescuers are sought.

Recognizing the Roles

Here are the feelings typically experienced by each role:

• Victim: Helplessness, hopelessness, feeling trapped, powerless, worthless, confused, wronged, fearful, self-pity.
• Rescuer: Pity, desire to help, sense of superiority, competence, confidence, inability to refuse help, compassion, responsibility for others.
• Aggressor (Persecutor): Righteousness, indignation, desire to punish, restore justice, irritation, hunting excitement.

In the triangle: the Victim suffers, the Rescuer saves, and the Aggressor punishes or teaches a lesson.

How to Break Free from the Triangle

The most important step is to recognize which role you entered the triangle through. Usually, advice is to invert the roles:

• The Aggressor becomes a Teacher.
• The Rescuer becomes a Helper or Guide (like a coach—you do the work, the coach guides).
• The Victim becomes a Student.

If you find yourself as a Victim, start learning. If you’re a Rescuer, stop thinking the person you’re helping is weak—doing things for them prevents them from learning. You can only help someone who is actively trying to help themselves. As the famous psychotherapist Alexander Efimovich Alekseichik said: “You can only help someone who is doing something.”

Helping is only possible in what someone is already doing. If they’re lying down, you can only help them lie down. If they’re standing, you can help them stand. You can’t help someone get up if they’re not trying to get up themselves.

Entry Points and Personal Triggers

Each of us has preferred entry roles into the triangle, which can vary by context. At work, someone might enter as an Aggressor (restoring justice), while at home, they might be a Rescuer. It’s important to recognize your own “triggers” that lure you into these roles—someone’s helplessness, a plea for help, or a sense of injustice can all be triggers.

Transitions between roles often start with certain feelings:

• Rescuer to Victim: guilt, helplessness, obligation to help.
• Rescuer to Aggressor: desire to punish, restore justice, righteous anger.
• Victim to Aggressor: feeling wronged, seeking justice for oneself.
• Victim to Rescuer: desire to help, pity for former Aggressor or Rescuer.
• Aggressor to Victim: sudden helplessness, confusion.
• Aggressor to Rescuer: guilt, responsibility for others.

Why We Stay in the Triangle

Each role has its own psychological rewards:

• Rescuers enjoy feeling special and needed—narcissism.
• Victims enjoy suffering and being saved—masochism.
• Aggressors enjoy enforcing rules and punishing—sadism.

Rescuers know how things “should be done,” Aggressors know what “shouldn’t be done,” and Victims want but feel unable to act.

Observing the Triangle

Even observers can be drawn into the triangle. When you listen to a Rescuer, you may feel proud or amused by their efforts. Reading an Aggressor’s words may provoke righteous anger. Listening to a Victim evokes deep sympathy and a desire to help.

Final Thoughts

There are no true Rescuers, Victims, or Aggressors—just people who can play different roles. Everyone can get trapped in these roles, but most have a tendency to linger in one. The entry point into the triangle is often where a person remains, but not always. Also, people don’t always occupy the role they complain about—a “Victim” may actually be an Aggressor, and a “Rescuer” may be playing the Victim or Aggressor.

These pathological relationships are often as confusing and twisted as in “Alice in Wonderland.” Careful observation of all participants—including yourself—is necessary, even if you’re just an observer. The power of the triangle is such that it can draw in anyone, turning even bystanders into participants in this Bermuda Triangle of dysfunctional relationships and roles.