Hypnotic Compliment Techniques
Have you ever found yourself wanting to tell someone attractive just how appealing they are, only to realize you can’t bring yourself to say it? For some strange, mysterious reason, the words just won’t come out. You might feel like Pinocchio before Geppetto carved his mouth, or suspect you have a unique kind of tongue paralysis. Maybe you even relate to fish, opening and closing their mouths without making a sound. And if you do manage to say something, it’s usually about the weather or the political situation in the North Caucasus—anything but what you really want to express.
So, what can you do in these situations? How do you overcome awkwardness and insecurity? It’s natural to worry—what if your sincere compliment is misunderstood or taken the wrong way? The task seems daunting: you need to conquer your own hesitation and find a way to say what you mean so the other person understands it exactly as you intend, and your words are met with warmth and appreciation. After all, it’s always nice to hear that you’re the best person in the world!
Of course, we could start a long discussion about the importance of self-esteem, confidence, and courage. But let’s be honest—if you were already confident and self-assured, you’d have no trouble finding the right words. In reality, it’s often the people around you who struggle with how to express their admiration, sometimes even writing down compliments so they don’t mess up. So, instead of focusing on boosting your self-esteem (which can take a while and is hard to measure), let’s look for a quick fix. After all, you want to express your feelings now, not six months from now, right?
When decisive action is needed in indecisive situations, you need a fast-track recipe for learning the art of giving compliments. Luckily, there are techniques that can help you quickly learn to say the most fantastic things to the person you’re interested in—things you never thought you’d dare to say. And the best part? Your words will be received positively. You’ll be able to say whatever you want, easily and openly, with full confidence that your words will be like a soothing balm.
Think it’s impossible? It’s more possible than you think! You can say whatever your heart desires, using special secret methods. Here’s how these techniques work and why they’re so effective.
How Do You Do It?!
Let’s start simple. You’ve probably seen this technique in advertising: ask someone how they always manage to be so amazing. For example, in a commercial, one woman says to another, “You’re so good at cooking—what’s your secret?” The complimented woman then explains it’s all thanks to a special pot or sauce. In real life, though, the secret should be about the person themselves, so they start “justifying” their wonderful qualities. Let them explain why they’re so great! You’re in a winning position because you’ve turned a straightforward compliment into a question, and genuine admiration into genuine interest. This approach is often easier for both you and the other person, since direct compliments can be hard to respond to. People can be good at anything—looking great, dressing stylishly, dancing well, doing their job skillfully, being charming, and so on.
I Need Your Advice
This is a great way to win over an attractive man. Men swell with pride when their competence or intelligence is recognized. Ask him for advice on a tricky situation (it doesn’t have to be real). Explain why you chose him specifically for his wisdom and experience. This clever move lets you say everything your heart desires. For example: “Mike (or John, Dave, Andrew), you’re the smartest person I know, and I’m sure you can help me figure this out—no one could do it better than you. That’s why I need your advice, your experience, and your unique perspective…”
How Are You?
This is a great way to share your feelings about someone without being too direct—by including them in the positive experiences that brighten your day. For example: “Everything’s great, I’m in a fantastic mood, the sun is shining, spring is coming, it’s warm, you look wonderful, I’m so happy to see you, I feel amazing, everything is just awesome!”
There’s a more advanced version, too. Invite your conversation partner to join you in appreciating the world around you. When asked, “How are you?” you might reply: “Oh, I’m doing great—look, the sun is shining (accompanied by light gestures), the sky is clear, it’s warm and cozy, you look fantastic—it’s a joy to see, the air is fresh, my mood is good, I want to do something fun and useful. What are your plans for today?”
Notice that in the first technique, it’s best to speak quickly, while in the second, go slower and more smoothly. You’re inviting the other person to see the positive side of the world, with themselves as one of those positives.
The “Love Quotes” Technique
When telling a story about a movie, book, or interesting event, you can change your narration from third person (“…and then he tells her she’s beautiful, the best, and he loves her…”) to second person: “And then he tells her: you’re beautiful, you’re the best, and I love you very much…” This way, you weave the most elaborate compliments into your story in a disguised form. Our subconscious (unlike our conscious mind) takes such statements literally, and there’s nothing we can do about it! This won’t work in written text, but when you tell a story out loud, it’s very effective. Of course, it doesn’t mean the person will immediately fall for you, but it does mean you can say what you want, knowing they’ll hear it and their subconscious will take it personally.
What’s in a Name?
This technique is pure hypnosis. Want to be a bit of a hypnotist? Before saying something important, address the person by name! When someone hears their own name, their attention to what you’re saying increases dramatically. Combine this with the “How Are You?” technique for even more impact: “Oh, I’m doing great—look, the sun is shining, the sky is clear, it’s warm and cozy, and Natasha (or Lena, Marina, Julia) looks wonderful—it’s a joy to see, the air is fresh, the mood is good, and I want to do something fun and useful. What are your plans for today?”
Notice the paradox: you’re talking about the person in front of you as if you’re talking to a three-year-old—“Vanya is the most handsome, Vanya looks good,” instead of “You’re the most handsome and look good.” This triggers two psychological responses: the orienting reflex (to human speech) and age regression, making the person feel like a child. It’s always easy to say the nicest things to a child, and everyone enjoys doing it.
Let Me Say That I’ll Never Say It!
This is an interesting way to say everything you want to someone, then emphasize that you didn’t actually say it. This technique was famously used by Kashpirovsky in his mass hypnosis sessions: “And I won’t say that you need to relax, that your breathing is becoming even, your body is relaxing, and you’re sinking deeper and deeper into trance. And I won’t say it now. I won’t say it later, either.” You can try the same approach: “Of course, I really want to tell you that I like you and I’m so happy to see you, but I’m so shy and hesitant that I can’t say a single word.”
Imagine a psychologist sitting in his chair, with a patient he really likes, but he’s at work and shouldn’t have feelings for his patients. So he says something like:
“…You know, please understand—I have no right to say this and I can’t say that I truly admire you, that you’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. You’re the most beautiful, charming, delightful, and amazing woman, and I’m happy to be near you, to hear you, to look at you, and to think all the things I can’t say out loud—all these words, all my feelings, all the warmth and happiness that fill my heart. I’m telling you this because I realize my responsibility and want to say that I can’t say these things, and I won’t be able to say them right now, no matter how much I want to…”
Play the Game!
I realize these techniques aren’t always simple or lighthearted—they require careful wording and an understanding that life is a lot like a game. When we play, we learn important things and make responsible decisions. How much can a child learn if they never play or feel the joy and excitement of the game? No one can accuse a child of being unserious, because play is the most serious and important thing in life. If you realize you’re playing, understand why you’re playing, and know your goal, you’ll succeed and achieve wonderful results! So play to your heart’s content—and good luck in this fun and rewarding endeavor!