Working Through Doubts

Everyone faces doubts at least once in their life. The choice of “to do or not to do” and which direction to take can be emotionally exhausting. Many people avoid even thinking about making changes in their lives just to escape this difficult decision.

Where Do Doubts Come From?

Doubt arises when changes occur in our familiar and comfortable lives (which are not always good or ideal). This could be changing jobs, starting a business, moving to a new city or country—anything new and unfamiliar where we have little or no experience and no proven plan of action.

The second component of doubt is fear. In this context, fear is a natural defense mechanism to protect what a person has already achieved. It’s the fear of the unknown future and the opinions of others.

There are also “well-meaning” people in our lives. As soon as you want to make a change, they show up with their questions, planting seeds of doubt: “What if your business fails?” “What if it doesn’t work out?” “How will your family react?” “Maybe it’s better not to change anything?” and so on.

How Do Doubts Affect a Person?

Doubts make people lose confidence in themselves and their ideas. They stop listening to their own inner voice and pay more attention to the opinions of others (as if others know better how you should live). It becomes hard to distinguish your own opinion from the “noise” of those around you. As a result, people start believing others more and lose their sense of identity.

Doubts are also huge time-wasters. Too much valuable time is spent thinking, analyzing, and weighing all the pros and cons. In addition to time, people waste energy and strength, but there’s no action or progress.

How Can You Overcome Doubts?

Here are six strategies:

1. Listen to yourself! Only you know what kind of life suits you and what you want to achieve.
2. Understand that doubts are necessary! Doubts help us look at situations from different angles and gather the information we need.
3. Set a clear time limit for doubting. Choose a specific date by which you’ll gather all the necessary information and make a decision. The shorter the deadline, the more effective it will be.
4. Make a decision that’s important to YOU and consider it the right one. No matter which direction you choose, you’ll find like-minded people.
5. Work through your doubts on your own by asking yourself questions:
   • Who or what is causing my doubts?
   • What exactly am I doubting?
   • What fears are hidden behind my doubts?
   • What do I need to do to overcome my fear? Are my fears justified?
   • What good and bad could come from my actions?
6. Try the well-known “Descartes’ Square” technique. This method can also help you deal with doubts and make the right choice.