Calibration: How to Communicate with People More Effectively

Today, let’s discuss the topic of calibration. I believe this is one of the most important aspects of interacting with people. Well-developed calibration skills help us understand what’s happening with a person, whether we’re communicating with them directly or observing from the outside.

People with strong calibration skills are often said to be able to:

• Read people
• Read minds (or, more accurately, make educated guesses)
• Understand someone’s state or mood
• Tell if someone is lying or telling the truth
• See right through someone

All of these abilities are simply components of calibration. To be more precise, here’s a scientific definition:

Calibration is the process of reading another person’s subconscious, nonverbal reactions during interaction, by identifying their specific internal responses through observable behavioral signals.

In fact, we all possess some level of calibration skills. However, the degree to which this skill is developed varies from person to person, depending on lifestyle, profession, and behavior patterns. How and in what direction it develops isn’t always clear.

Here, I’m talking about consciously developing this skill. There are many methods for improving calibration, and most require groups of people united by a common goal, performing the same tasks. The downside of this approach is that, since the group is limited, you quickly learn to “read” them, and your skill stops progressing. The method I’ll share allows you to develop calibration more effectively, even if not as intensively.

Technique:

1. Choose the aspect of calibration you want to develop.
   Examples:
   • Emotions
   • States
   • Moods
   • Profession
   • Next step (behavior)
2. Let’s use profession as an example. In your mind, make a guess: “This person is a doctor.”
3. Verification: Ask the person if they are a doctor.
4. If the answer is yes, remember the general “portrait” of a doctor. If the answer is no, remember what a doctor does not look like.
5. Repeat this process until you learn to spot a doctor and “try on” that image.

This works according to the principle: “It takes one to know one.” For example, people who use certain substances can often immediately tell if someone else does too. If you’re into sports (like swimming), you can usually spot other swimmers right away. And so on.

Emotions and everything else work the same way. The most important thing is to realize that you can calibrate anything: water temperature, whether people find you likable, if someone is hiding something from you, whether someone can lend you money, or if a new girlfriend will say yes, and so on.

Try to notice individual features: tattoos, jewelry, clothing brands, slogans on clothes, stickers on phones or cases, watches, hairstyles, teeth, fingernails, pay attention to hands, eye contact, and reactions to what is said. Break things down to the smallest details.

Calibrate and don’t stress about it. Over time, this skill will become much more broadly applicable. I’m not giving tons of examples—find them for yourself.

Stalinlingus