How Emotions Influence Our Decisions and Why Emotional Management Matters
Our emotional state is one of the most important factors influencing our decisions. While we intuitively understand this in everyday life, most people lack the skills to manage themselves in such situations. Psychotherapist Katerina Furman explains which emotional management strategies are most effective and how they can make decision-making easier.
Why Decision-Making Is So Draining
Great minds like Albert Einstein and Richard Feynman found creative ways to minimize the time spent on unimportant decisions by making a choice once and sticking to it—Einstein always wore the same suits, and Feynman only ate chocolate desserts.
Decision-making is truly one of the most energy-consuming functions of our bodies, affecting every aspect of our lives, from choosing breakfast to prioritizing tasks at work. The brain, which uses about 20% of the body’s total energy, is constantly working to select the best options for our present and future well-being.
One of the key factors affecting the quality of our decisions is our emotional state. It changes our ability to analyze and choose, often leading to suboptimal or even mistaken decisions. Although we intuitively know this, we usually lack the skills to manage ourselves in these moments.
Emotions Demand Energy and Resources
Experiencing emotions is also very energy-intensive for our bodies, both mentally and physically. Research shows that feeling emotions activates the same brain areas responsible for decision-making and executive functions. This competition for resources leads to overload, a sense of being overwhelmed, and decision-making paralysis.
When we’re overwhelmed by emotions but need to make a choice or focus on a task, the common strategy is to try to suppress our feelings. We attempt to “think clearly,” believing we must not “give in” to emotions. But modern research has proven that trying to “turn off emotions” is an illusion—ignoring and suppressing them actually requires even more energy and negatively affects cognitive processes.
Suppressing emotions increases stress, raises physiological activity, and generally disrupts thinking and communication. It becomes self-deception, even if we feel we’ve successfully switched to the task and aren’t feeling anything.
To ensure emotions don’t become obstacles but instead help the decision-making process, we need to learn to notice, understand, and effectively manage them.
Emotions Come First, Thoughts Second
Our emotional state plays a key role in shaping our thought processes. First, we experience an emotion, and then, against that background, a thought forms, which in turn leads to a decision. When our emotional state is negative, it inevitably affects our thoughts and choices. The reverse is also true—positive emotions foster more favorable thoughts and decisions.
The most helpful emotions are those that don’t require mental or physical energy, don’t create resource conflicts, and don’t require effort to manage. A moderate positive mood, free from anxiety and inner conflict, is considered the most beneficial for effective thinking and decision-making. In this state, we feel calm and can fully focus on the present moment and the tasks at hand.
The most harmful for decision-making are energy-draining feelings—the ones we usually call negative: fear, anxiety, anger, irritation, shame, guilt. When it comes to emotions in the context of problem-solving, there are two types:
- Task-related emotions—connected to the task itself, possible solutions, conditions, etc.
- Unrelated emotions—general mood, worries about world events, the country, or family.
When emotions are tied to the task, they directly interfere with decision-making: fear of making the wrong choice, anxiety about possible consequences, or deeper feelings like embarrassment or shame over a controversial decision. Sometimes, anger arises from having to make a tough choice. The good news is that we’re aware of their connection to the task, so we can work with them.
The second type of emotion is more indirect, acting as a “background” but still influencing decisions. This can be paradoxical, and the lack of clear understanding makes it harder to manage their impact. Yet, many studies confirm this link. For example, on sunny days, people not only rate their lives as happier, but even stock markets perform better. On days when national teams lose important international matches, stock prices drop. So, general mood caused by external events can noticeably affect all decisions, from personal to macroeconomic.
Emotional responses to tasks often cause procrastination. When we face a task that requires action, we need energy. But if that energy is spent fighting negative emotions related to the task, there’s none left for the action itself. Procrastination arises when energy goes into managing these emotions instead of completing the task. Bad moods can subtly fuel procrastination, draining the resources we need for productive action.
When people learn to recognize and manage their emotions, it positively affects all aspects of decision-making: cognitive functioning improves, perception errors decrease, and information processing becomes more efficient. The ability to manage emotions brings significant advantages in solving specific problems, improving not only the quality of decisions but also overall productivity and effectiveness.
We Manage Emotions, Not the Other Way Around
A common misconception, highlighted by research, is the belief that emotions are beyond our control, as if we’re passive victims of our feelings. In reality, the brain generates emotions in the moment, taking past experience into account. Even if that experience is intense, the emotion forms here and now, and we can learn to manage this process.
The key difference between a passive and active role is intention. When we stop seeing ourselves as victims and start believing we can influence our emotional state, we open the door to change. It’s like learning to ride a bike: all it takes is practice and the desire to learn. With this approach, we gain the ability to manage not only our decisions in the moment but also improve our overall quality of life.
Unfortunately, even when we try to manage our state, we often do so intuitively and with mixed results. Most often, we resort to one of two opposite reactions: suppressing emotions or diving into them completely.
Trying to suppress emotions means convincing ourselves, “I don’t feel anything,” “I can handle it,” “Come on, pull yourself together.” Stoic characters like this appear in literature and art, including modern fairy tales: for example, Elsa in “Frozen” tried to suppress her fear of her magical powers. As the story shows, this is ineffective and very draining, and research confirms it.
The second reaction is total immersion in emotions without any ability to manage them. People following this path seem to flounder in their feelings, caught in a cycle of repetitive thoughts and emotions, which is also very draining and completely ineffective—energy goes into emotions, not actions.
Both reactions show that without conscious management and effective strategies, any attempt to cope with emotions can lead to exhaustion and lack of results.
People with effective emotional management skills not only make better decisions but also improve their psychological state, show reduced dependence on alcohol, and lower levels of aggression and violence. Physically, they have a lower risk of various diseases and recover faster, even from serious illnesses like cancer.
This evidence shows that developing emotional self-regulation can significantly improve quality of life, strengthen physical health, and increase overall resilience to stress and life’s challenges.
The Most Effective Technique for Managing Emotions
One of the most effective techniques for managing your emotions is the technique of “experiencing” them, which allows you to naturally reduce their intensity. Scientists have compared this with other methods and found that suppressing emotions is completely ineffective. Not only does it require significant effort, but it can also lead to negative long-term psychological and physical health consequences.
The distraction technique, though popular, is also less effective than mindfulness. Distraction may offer temporary relief but doesn’t solve the problem at its core. Nor does the “do nothing” approach—without active efforts to regulate emotions, a person can remain at the mercy of their feelings, unable to resolve them constructively.
Cognitive reappraisal is a truly effective emotion management technique, often used in cognitive-behavioral therapy. This method involves analyzing the cognitive component of emotional reactions and trying to reinterpret the original situation by adding new information or reconsidering the context. For example, if someone feels angry because they believe they were treated unfairly, they’re encouraged to explore whether the situation was truly unfair and to learn more about the other person’s motives, which can change their perception of the event.
But even compared to cognitive reappraisal, the technique of experiencing emotions is more effective. Mindfully accepting and experiencing emotions not only helps you better understand your feelings but also find the best ways to regulate them. This approach fosters emotional resilience and increases overall psychological well-being.
So, what does the popular term “experiencing emotions” mean? It involves three steps:
- Name it: When you name the emotion, it’s easier to understand what you’re feeling. Do this as precisely as possible, with nuance—studies show that people with a larger emotional vocabulary handle emotions better. Remember, you can feel several emotions at once, like guilt, fear, anger, etc. So, identify and name them all.
- Feel it in your body and rate its intensity: Notice where and how you feel the emotion in your body. Is it hot, cold, heavy, empty, expansive, tense? For those with a weak mind-body connection, this may be difficult, but it’s a necessary step. Then, rate the emotion’s intensity on a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being the strongest.
- Observe the sensations in your body: Simply allow the sensation to be there and focus all your attention on it. You might think the emotion will overwhelm you, but the opposite happens. Emotions are like waves—they rise quickly, peak, and then gradually subside, like an ocean wave gently rolling onto the shore. As you focus on the sensation, periodically rate its intensity again, and you’ll notice the wave receding. When the level reaches zero, the emotion has been fully experienced.
Praise yourself for completing the exercise. Not only have you improved your emotional awareness, but you’ve also taken a step toward better self-understanding. Remember, like any skill, the ability to manage emotions improves with practice. It may seem difficult at first, but over time the process becomes easier, faster, and simpler.
To master this technique, start by practicing with minor, everyday events. This will help you gradually develop the skill and prepare you for handling stronger emotional reactions, even in the most challenging situations.
The Long-Term Effects of Emotional Management
Research on the long-term effects of emotional management highlights its importance not only for immediate problem-solving but also for overall well-being and even physical health throughout life. A wide range of studies, including longitudinal and cross-cultural research, shows that practicing mindfulness and effective emotional management is linked to increased happiness, improved psychological resilience, greater life satisfaction, and overall well-being.
Thus, managing emotions not only improves the quality of our immediate experience and helps us make more thoughtful decisions in the present, but also has a profound impact on long-term psychological and physical health. Remember, like any skill, the ability to effectively manage emotions develops and improves with practice. Regular use of scientific strategies and approaches to emotional regulation will help you become psychologically healthier and achieve greater well-being in life.