Contact with Reality

It’s no secret that we receive information through sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell. What’s even more interesting is that we can use these same sensory systems in our imagination—mentally perceiving things that don’t exist in the external world. We can remember, fantasize, and plan. Even more fascinating is that the brain often reacts to imagined experiences as if they were real, sending corresponding commands to the body.

A painful memory can trigger real feelings of hurt, even if nothing offensive is happening in reality. Just thinking about an upcoming joy can significantly change your body’s biochemistry. Imagining being late can make you walk faster. In other words, subjective reality shapes objective processes.

Since both perception and imagination use the same neural pathways, one process tends to push out the other. We constantly have to choose: do we take in information from the outside, or do we construct it from within? Everyone has their own preferences for which mode they use more often. Let’s talk about that.

Realists and Dreamers

Realists choose perception. Dreamers choose imagination. Of course, both use both abilities: without perception, there’s no contact with reality; without imagination, there’s no learning or growth. The difference is in frequency. Naturally, their lifestyles differ. But how?

A realist is firmly grounded. They know exactly what’s happening around them. They gather facts, remember them, and use them. It’s hard to fool a realist—they know what’s really going on. Logic is their strong ally.

A dreamer lives by conclusions. The few facts that make it into their subjective reality become the basis for generalizations. Once a dreamer has made up their mind, they may stop gathering new information on the topic—they already “know.” If facts don’t fit their theory, they just dismiss them as “bad facts.”

Interestingly, most dreamers are aware of this weakness and tend to trust the opinions of others—especially if those opinions are expressed convincingly. It’s best if they trust a realist, not another dreamer.

The Upsides of Imagination

Dreamers have their strengths. For example, if real circumstances get in the way of their plans, they can act based on imagined scenarios—sometimes driving everyone around them crazy.

If a dreamer is warmed by their “inner sunshine,” they’ll feel good no matter how gloomy the weather is. Who cares if the boss is yelling, when in your imagination he’s wearing a straitjacket? One person even learned not to feel the pain of a lighter’s flame by vividly imagining an asbestos glove on their hand.

Imagination also lets us learn from mistakes. Just remembering a past blunder can make us more careful now. No one feels the need to step on the same rake twice if their memory brings up the right episode. For many, just imagining a mistake is enough.

Just as important, imagination lets us see the world as we want it to be, plan changes, and find resources to make those plans real. Realists are much more down-to-earth in this regard. It’s harder for them to sense possibilities.

The Weaknesses of Dreamers

The weaknesses of dreamers are the flip side of their strengths. They can feel bad even when everything around them is great. They can stubbornly ignore any feedback. They might be satisfied with what they’ve already lived out in their imagination, never bringing it to life. They can invent obstacles where none exist.

Dreamers are the ones who might sacrifice their health for an imaginary reward like a “red diploma” or a spot on the “Honor Board.” They can be stopped by virtual limitations like traditions, customs, or “karmic retribution.” For them, approval or disapproval from others can become a guide to action.

They may live in memories or dreams, ignoring the present. Talking to imaginary people is their specialty. Ever met parents who haven’t noticed their kids aren’t ten years old anymore?

Dreamers rely on beliefs, defending them with imagination and selective filtering of incoming information. Life has to shake them up pretty hard to make them question their deep-seated convictions.

What to Do?

The answer is obvious. Realists should develop their imagination. Dreamers should open their eyes (and everything else) to reality. But keep in mind: while you can try to remake yourself into the opposite type, it rarely works out well.

Both types have their pros and cons. They’re pleased by different things. A realist is more likely to enjoy a crisp bill or a gentle massage, while a dreamer craves fame and honor. Of course, both enjoy all pleasures, but each has skills tailored to getting their own kind of joy from life.

How to Develop Imagination?

• Dream more often. Give yourself unusual challenges and solve them in your mind. If you know how to earn $1,000, imagine how to get $100,000. Push your own boundaries!
• Play “What if.” Imagine different circumstances and benefit from them. For example, mentally fill yourself with energy by imagining the corresponding sensations. Or picture yourself as a Super-Psychologist and give everyone advice.
• Practice unconventional actions. Do things differently from everyone else. Look for your own original moves.

How to Strengthen Contact with Reality?

• Observe. Record facts. Cut out any evaluative thoughts or judgments. Avoid sweeping generalizations. Regularly check in with reality—maybe things have changed?
• Watch for reactions. After you act, see what’s changed.
• Use the “bottom line” principle. Whatever you do, see what’s actually changed in reality. Whatever you agree on, check how it’s reflected in real actions and events. “Pay promises with promises, pay deeds with deeds.”

In the end, nature gave us both abilities—and a talent for one of them. It’s a shame not to use your talent, but it’s also a shame to miss out on the other possibility. So, let’s keep practicing!