NLP Technique: “Shame or Triumph” – A Psychological Stretching Exercise

Practicing this psychological visualization exercise is a kind of mental “stretching” that helps us learn to reach for the numinous.

Numinosity (from Latin numen — deity, will of the gods) is a concept that characterizes a key aspect of religious experience, associated with an intense feeling of mysterious and awe-inspiring divine presence.

Carl Jung referred to the numinous as the Divine, the sacred.

This exercise is about visualizing the numinous within ourselves, with the goal of gaining strength and support for everyday life.

When the numinous manifests in a person in its full power, we call that person a Saint.

When the numinous only flickers in someone, as a rare golden glimmer, we love that person. When the numinous pours from their words or flows from their fingertips, we say that person is a genius, a Master.

I want to pose a very important question: Do you know the moments when the numinous (the Divine) manifests in a person at full strength?

The numinous reveals itself in a person at full power twice—at two crucial, extreme points of human existence. This is what we’ll discuss now. It’s the topic of our visualization and, more broadly, our conversation.

The Two Extremes: Shame and Triumph

There are two extreme points in life when the numinous manifests itself in a person at full strength: Shame and Triumph.

Every ordinary person has two chances in life to become a saint.

These two chances are: the moment of our lowest fall, and the moment of our fullest unfolding—the moment of Triumph of our Self, the peak of our Self-actualization.

And here, something very important happens—perhaps designed by evolution itself to protect both the individual and humanity as a species.

Both times—at the moment of deepest shame and at the moment of highest glory, which are both deeply personal—the person is… what? The person is at their most vulnerable, that’s what!

Shame

At the lowest point, in the moment of shame and defeat, the most natural threat (if we follow logic) is that the crowd, society, will attack and humiliate the person.

But here, logic must be turned off! Because at the moment of a person’s lowest fall… that’s exactly what doesn’t happen! The crowd, which was just ready to tear you apart, suddenly, like a wave, recedes and falls silent.

Perhaps with a hint from the Collective Unconscious, everyone somehow knows—a person enduring the worst humiliation and fall is taboo for earthly judgment and manipulation. They are already in the realm of Divine forces. They are no longer subject to earthly condemnation.

Having reached the lowest point, a person becomes a saint. The numinous descends upon them. To touch such a person at that moment—to mock, humiliate, or punish them further—is impossible. This understanding is embedded in our very being, if you will…

Triumph

At the point of triumph, when it is authentic and reveals the person’s true Self, the person is also very vulnerable. Again, earthly logic says otherwise. But in reality, they are not vulnerable!

You might think this is when the envious would reach a boiling point and try to ruin the Triumph.

But that’s not what happens. In these moments, the numinous again descends upon the person. And once again, they become invulnerable. On the contrary, the same crowd that envied the person yesterday (before they reached their peak) now steps aside and says—saint…

This mechanism is also embedded in our nature.

It’s no coincidence that in traditional culture, everyone falls silent before the deceased lying in a coffin, and everyone is moved by a bride walking down the aisle.

In the simplest terms, in mythological, ritualized form, the deceased in the coffin represents the lowest point a person can reach, while the bride is the highest point of self-actualization.

In both cases, there is something sacred, numinous in the air.

But the situations with the deceased and the bride are the most primitive examples.

There are many cases when a person becomes a saint outside the rituals of their own wedding or funeral.

One of the best examples illustrating this phenomenon is Chekhov’s novella, The Duel.

In short, it’s a story about how ordinary people were able to witness the Presence of the Living God, because two outcasts from their small world reached the extreme point of moral and social downfall, of shame…

These two outcasts, in fact, appeared before the townsfolk as the Living God.

Visualization Exercise: “I Love You”

In our everyday lives, we rarely encounter the numinous. No one is especially shamed, no one especially reveals their true Self…

That’s why life feels hard—how can we live without the numinous?

But here, a good practice from psychotherapy can help—self-healing through visualization.

I learned this practice from an old psychotherapist who knew nothing about the latest trends in practical psychology and stopped somewhere around the first translations of NLP.

He would say: “Draw two pictures for yourself. First, see yourself at the moment of your complete failure and shame. Imagine clearly what you would be like then. Approach yourself in this picture and say to yourself: ‘I love you.’

Then draw a second picture, where you are rightfully celebrating your victory. Imagine clearly what you would be like then. Approach yourself in this second picture of success and say the same words: ‘I love you.’”

Do this psychological exercise often, and you will stop being afraid of life and wasting it on trivial things.