NLP: Speech Strategies. Part 1 – Theory

There are many ways to classify presuppositions, but I find it more convenient to present the most commonly used speech strategies—verbal techniques that use presuppositions as well as other approaches. Speech strategies, as specific cases of presuppositions, allow you to subtly “guide” a person in the desired direction.

1. Truisms

A truism is an (apparently) absolutely true statement:

• Everyone sleeps at some point.
• We all can forget something.
• Moscow is the capital of Russia.
• You can sit on this chair.

Despite their simplicity, truisms are very effective. For example, if you want to help someone change, you might start with:

– Everyone can change.

No one can really argue with this. Since your client is also a person, it follows that they can change too. Truisms help direct a person’s thoughts in the direction you want.

• Businesspeople sign contracts.
• People buy washing machines.
• Spouses not only argue, but also make up.

Another way to use truisms is to build trust for subsequent statements—to establish rapport.

– You are constantly changing. The “Individual” plan changes with you.

Proverbs and sayings are often used for this purpose, as we tend to accept them as truth:

– The early bird gets the worm. If you come at night or early in the morning, you can buy the product cheaper.

There are two main approaches to formulating truisms. You can talk about what is likely happening to the person right now or what they can verify:

• You are sitting on a chair.
• The ceiling in this room is white.
• It’s spring now.

It’s also good to add modal verbs like “can” or “are able to”:

• You can feel your breathing.

Or you can use very general statements—commonly accepted truths that are hard to argue with:

• People shop.
• We all make mistakes sometimes.

Again, modal verbs work well here:

• People can learn easily.
• People are capable of completely unexpected things.

2. Presuppositions

• As soon as you sit down, you’ll feel better.

Here, you presuppose that if one event happens (sitting down), another will follow (feeling better). The goal is to link two things—an event likely to happen (or a motivation) and the result you want.

• Right after you walk out the door, you’ll feel much better.

For the unconscious, these two things become one. If one happens, the other follows automatically.

Linking to an event that is likely to happen creates a strong sequence of actions. If you use motivation as the “carrot,” you simply strengthen the desire to move in the desired direction: “If you want to be healthy, exercise.” Both approaches work, just in different ways.

Common constructions for presuppositions:

• as soon as
• after
• immediately when
• if… then
• when
• before
• despite the fact that

Examples:

• While you brush your teeth, you’ll remember something important.
• If you all sit down, we’ll start the lesson faster.
• Before you buy this item, take a close look at it.
• If you go into the room, close the window.

Presuppositions can also be made without linking words, just by intonation: “Go into the room, close the window.”

• When you wake up in the morning, you’ll remember to bring the report.
• After you read the contract, sign in the lower right corner.
• Before you agree, think it over again.
• When morning comes, you’ll think of me…
• Despite having read less than half of this article, you already understand a lot.

You can also link motivation and desired action:

• Since you want to master the material even better, you’ll bring your completed homework next time.

Note: Linking to an event is more unconditional and unconscious, like a switch: you walk out the door—you remember your homework. This is useful for things a person can’t consciously do yet, like pain relief or creating new behaviors:

• As soon as you sit down, your headache will go away.

Linking to motivation is more conscious, but if the motivation is chosen well, it can be even more powerful. It not only helps the person “remember,” but also to act.

3. Contrasts

While presuppositions link two events (static things), contrasts link two processes (which may even go in opposite directions):

• The more doubts you have, the easier the choice!

In contrasts, the following conjunctions are used:

• the more… the more/less
• the… the…
• as much as… so much…

Examples:

• The more you get distracted, the more attentively you listen.
• The more carefully you read the contract, the faster you’ll make a decision.
• The stronger your headache, the faster it goes away.
• The more time you spend studying, the better you’ll know the subject.
• Discounts! The more you spend, the more you save.
• The higher the price, the better the product.
• The faster you sign the contract, the sooner we’ll start deliveries.
• The more you fear joining the army, the harder you’ll have to work.
• The harder the task, the more pleasure from solving it.
• The longer the road to the goal, the sweeter the victory.

4. Questions

• Are you aware that you’re already starting to understand what presuppositions are?

This is another trap. It presupposes that you already understand presuppositions, you just haven’t realized it yet. The mind searches for an answer, while the unconscious accepts “understanding presuppositions” as truth. These questions often use verbs of awareness:

• are you aware
• do you understand
• do you know
• do you notice
• have you noticed
• do you remember

And any question words:

• why
• how
• when
• where
• for what reason

Examples:

• Why do you love our restaurant?
• Do you already understand that you’re getting better and better each time?
• Do you notice the changes happening?
• Do you know that Vasya has dandruff?
• Have you realized the power of these strategies?
• Why do you spend so much time training your subordinates?
• How did you learn to express your thoughts so well?

5. Evaluation

• I like how good you look today.

This strategy shifts the listener’s attention to the speaker’s evaluation, making the situation itself seem true. Common evaluative words:

• important
• necessary
• strange
• like
• curious
• annoying
• surprising
• doubt
• sure
• would like

Examples:

• I’d like to make decisions as quickly as you do.
• Everyone is amazed by the quality of this camera.
• I’m sure you’ll be on time tomorrow.
• It’s strange that you noticed this.
• Your persistence annoys me.
• I’m impressed by how this company manages to mess everything up.

6. Changes Over Time

• Do you still beat your wife in the mornings?

This strategy focuses attention on how a process develops over time (starts, continues, ends), presupposing the process itself. Common words:

• start
• continue
• finish
• so far
• already
• still
• yet

Examples:

• Have you started preparing the documents?
• Keep reading this text carefully.
• Do you still want to buy this item?
• Are you already ready?
• So far, we’ve managed.
• And we can also offer additional discounts.

7. False Choices

• Do you want to buy a washing machine or a refrigerator?
• Would you prefer to go into trance quickly or slowly?
• Do you want your watermelon sliced or whole?

Here, you offer a choice that doesn’t matter—the important thing is what’s behind the choice. You don’t care if the watermelon is sliced or not; you care that the person buys it. The focus is shifted to the choice, and the question of “to buy or not” disappears.

What’s the presupposition here? For example:

• Will you go to the store before or after the movie?

Presupposition: you will go to the store. The false choice is before or after the movie. The goal is to create the illusion of choice, shifting focus from the action to its circumstances.

• Will you confirm your participation today or tomorrow?
• Where would you like to go on vacation: Spain or Cyprus?

False choices aren’t only questions. They can be statements:

• Now you can buy our product in both large and small packages.

This works less strongly, but the principle is the same.

8. All Choices

• You can enter trance slowly, you can not enter trance at all, but I think you’ll enter it very quickly.

You list all possible choices, but highlight the one you want nonverbally—by voice, intonation, or gesture. The undesirable result is described with sadness or doubt, showing you don’t agree with it, but honesty requires you to mention it. The most desirable result is emphasized with positive nonverbal cues.

Is there a presupposition here? No. In this strategy, the desired behavior is highlighted nonverbally (and the undesirable one negatively). The unconsciously suggested choice becomes preferable. For example:

• You can think about it for a long time (neutral tone, head still), you can forget about it (shaking head “no” and pursing lips), or you can make a quick decision (nodding “yes” and smiling).

Can you highlight only with speech? Yes, especially in text, but nonverbal cues work better in speech.

• You can do everything tomorrow, you can do nothing at all, but I hope you’ll do it today.

In this phrase, the undesirable option is emphasized by “do nothing at all,” and the desirable one is strengthened by “I hope.”

Does it matter where the desired phrase is placed? Yes. The beginning and end of a phrase are remembered best, so put your preferred option at the start or end:

• You can do your homework tomorrow, you can copy it, but it’s better if you do it today.

Should there always be three choices? Two is the previous “false choice” strategy. More than three is possible, but if the phrase is too long, the listener may forget the beginning, middle, and even the point. So, 3–4 options are usually enough.

9. Negations in Commands

We don’t chase those who refuse to advertise with us, don’t wait for them after work, don’t call them at night, don’t send threatening letters, don’t hire thugs to rough them up. Nothing like that! (From the satirical newspaper “Krasnaya Burda”)

The unconscious doesn’t process negations—it simply ignores them. This can be used to your advantage.

• Don’t rush to start over. (Command: rush to start over.)

Negations allow you to fit smoothly into context and bypass conscious barriers (which can handle negations). The structure is simple: state the command, then put “don’t” in front of it.

• You’re not required to fully trust my words.
• You don’t want to buy an expensive item without looking at it, do you?

How do two negations work in a sentence? Here, the command is “want to buy.” Whether they look at the item or buy it right away doesn’t really matter.

Negations in commands can be combined with other strategies:

• Why do you think you shouldn’t pay attention to details? (Command: you should pay attention to details.)
• You can buy or not buy this vacuum cleaner now. (Command: buy the vacuum cleaner now.)
• Don’t listen to me so carefully! (Command: listen to me carefully.)

For the command to work, it should be in the imperative: run, shout, speak, buy. You can also use present tense action verbs: want, get, pay attention, apply…

So all those parental shouts like “don’t run”… usually have the opposite effect. The intention doesn’t change the outcome. “Don’t run, you’ll fall” leads to the child running and falling.

Other examples likely to have the opposite effect:

• Don’t look at me!
• Don’t pay attention!
• Don’t let yourself relax!

Messages about what won’t happen often attract those who are very interested in that “won’t happen”:

• You won’t find much of interest here.
• We won’t talk about sex.

Negations can also be used as hidden threats:

• We’re not threatening you.
• We’re not going to beat you up.

The conscious mind swallows the negation and calms down, but the unconscious gets anxious. These things are easier to spot nowadays (with practice), but the anxiety remains.

Summary Table

Strategy	Principle	Constructions	Examples
Truisms	Rapport. Setting the desired focus and evaluation.	You can sit on this chair. People can learn.	You can sit on this chair. People are capable of learning.
Presuppositions	Linking the desired result to what is happening or should happen. Can also link to motivation.	as soon as, after, immediately when, if… then, when, before	As soon as you sit down, you’ll feel better. Before you leave, call me.
Contrasts	Linking the desired action to a process that is happening or will happen.	the more… the more/less, as much as… so much…	The faster you fall asleep, the better you’ll sleep. The more time you spend studying, the better you’ll know the subject.
Questions	Shifting focus to awareness.	are you aware, do you notice, have you noticed, why, how, where	Do you already understand that you’re getting better and better? How did you become so successful?
Evaluation	Shifting focus to external evaluation.	like, curious, annoying, important, doubt	It’s important that you understood everything. I’m curious: how do you manage everything? Everyone is annoyed by your ability to dress well.
Changes Over Time	Shifting focus to the development of a process over time.	start, continue, finish, so far, already, still, yet	Have you started noticing presuppositions? Keep up the good work. Have you already learned everything? This topic is even more interesting.
False Choices	Shifting focus to the circumstances of the action.	or, both… and	Do you want to buy a washing machine or a refrigerator? You can call me both today and tomorrow morning.
All Choices	Nonverbal emphasis on desirable and undesirable choices.		You can do everything tomorrow, you can do nothing at all, but I hope you’ll do it today.
Negations in Commands	The unconscious ignores “not.”		Don’t come to us tomorrow. Don’t pay attention to mistakes.

Practice

To create an effective speech strategy, you first need to clearly define the action you want from the other person. All these speech constructions work as commands. You need to formulate that command.

Start by clarifying the context. Who is meeting whom, and what’s the challenge?

– Does there always have to be a challenge?

If there’s no challenge, there’s no need for clever techniques.

– A young man is meeting a girl. On the street.

What’s the challenge?

– He wants to be more confident that she won’t reject him.

So, we’re constructing phrases to boost the young man’s confidence? But who should say them to him? The girl? Or maybe the goal isn’t defined quite right.

– Command for the girl: call me.

So, other ways of contact (email, SMS) are excluded? Fine. Why do you want her to call?

– To continue the relationship.

So, you want a relationship, not just a call. What kind of relationship?

– To be liked.

So, the command is: you like me. For most young men, a call is proof that she likes him. So, calls are acceptable too.

Possible strategies:

• The longer we talk, the more you like me.
• How much do you like me?
• I’m glad you noticed me.
• You can call me or email me.
• As soon as you remember—call me.
• When you realize how much you like me—call me.
• You can call me tomorrow, or not at all, but it’s better if you call me today.
• Don’t call me tomorrow or the day after.

Now, let’s try the reverse: a girl meets a guy and wants him to take the initiative.

• You can call me tonight or tomorrow afternoon.
• It’s customary for the man to call first. (Truism)
• In case you forget my number, here’s my business card.

But giving the command “forget my number” may not help. Better:

• To help you remember my number even better, I’ll give you my business card.

If you want him to remember your number, say:

• If you want to remember my number, write it down.
• Have you remembered my number well enough?

But remembering isn’t as important as calling. He doesn’t have to memorize it—he just needs to have it. That’s what business cards, paper, pens, and even lipstick are for (which can be used to write on a napkin or his hand—a good anchor and a reason to say, “During our phone conversation…”—though this works best in intimate contexts, not job interviews).

You don’t have to give a direct command—be flexible. These are indirect presuppositions: to talk on the phone, you have to call first. That’s already in his experience.

• The more carefully you look at the number, the better you’ll remember it.
• You can call me tomorrow or the day after.
• After you call me, tell me how it all turned out.
• During our next phone conversation, I’ll tell you the rest of the story.
• Before you leave work tomorrow, call me.
• I’ll write down my number for you, and you call me tomorrow afternoon.
• I’m curious—will you call me in the morning or evening?
• If you go to lunch tomorrow, call me.
• Don’t call me right after you get back.
• When you call, remind me to give you that company’s number.