NLP: Six-Step Reframing

Type of Issue: Bad habits, self-sabotage, harmful behaviors

The Six-Step Reframing technique is an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) pattern based on the premise that all behavior operates outside of conscious control. You may want to stop or change a behavior but find yourself unable to do so. This method can also be used when you want to do something, but your actions are blocked. In both cases, your behavior is being blocked at an unconscious level and cannot be consciously changed-otherwise, you would simply do what you want without thinking about it. The fact that you can’t change the behavior consciously is a sign that it brings you a secondary benefit-something important that you don’t want to lose. However, the positive intention and secondary gain are unconscious.

Negative habits, ongoing incongruence, physical symptoms, psychological blocks, and secondary gains can be modified by applying the Six-Step Reframing process and identifying the positive intention. You can then find a different, more congruent, more ecological, and more authentic way to satisfy that intention.

Six-Step Reframing also leads to a significant shift-it moves you to a higher logical level and connects behavior with intention, rather than trying to change behavior while staying at the same level.

The beauty of Six-Step Reframing is that it can be done entirely at the unconscious level-your conscious mind doesn’t have to search for answers, yet the process remains effective. The technique uses metaphors of “parts” of your being-meaning that some part of your personality is preventing the desired change. This part requires respect and reframing.

The Six Steps

1. Identify the Problem.The problem-such as smoking, nail-biting, anxiety, pain, or discomfort without a clear physical cause-is usually expressed as: “I want to do this, but something is stopping me.” or “I don’t want to do this, but for some reason I keep doing it.”
2. Establish Communication with the Part Responsible for the Behavior.Look deep within your mind and try to connect with the part responsible for this behavior, using signals you can consciously recognize. Say something like: “Is the part of me responsible for this behavior giving me a signal?” Listen, look, or feel for this signal. Once you receive it, thank the part and ask if the signal is affirmative. You should get the same signal. If not, keep asking until you get a signal you can consciously recognize. If you don’t get any signal, continue anyway-assume the signal was there, but you weren’t sensitive enough to notice it.
3. Identify the Positive Intention and Separate It from the Unwanted Behavior.Ask the part if it is willing to reveal its positive intention. If you get an affirmative signal, allow the positive intention to become clear to you. You might be surprised. What valuable thing is this part trying to give you through the unwanted behavior? If you get a negative intention, such as “I don’t want you to feel fear,” keep grouping the information upward until the intention is stated positively, like “I want you to feel safe.” Separate the positive intention from the unwanted behavior. You may dislike the behavior itself, but the intention behind it may be worthy of respect. Thank the part for clarifying its positive intention. If you don’t get a signal or aren’t sure of the positive intention, make your best guess and move to the next step. There must be a positive intention-your unconscious is not so foolish as to lack one. Every behavior carries a positive intention.
4. Ask Your Creative Part to Generate New Behaviors to Fulfill the Positive Intention.Everyone has a creative and resourceful side. This part is usually unconscious, because it’s hard-almost impossible-to be creative on command. Look within and ask your creative part to come forward and offer you three alternative behaviors that could satisfy the positive intention in a different way. Ask that these options be at least as good as, or better than, the original behavior (otherwise, you’ll get stuck in a loop). Ask your creative part to let you know its decision and thank it. The creative part may communicate its plans unconsciously, but you don’t need to know them for the process to work.
5. Gain Agreement from the Part Responsible for the Unwanted Behavior to Use One of the New Options.This is a kind of “future pacing.” Ask directly if the part is willing to use one of the new choices. You should get a positive signal. If not, you can either return to step four and generate new options, or assume the part has agreed with your choice.
6. Ecological Check.Now that you’re aware of the new behaviors, imagine yourself using them in the future. Picture yourself in a movie, acting in the new way. How do you feel?

   Whether you understand the new options or not, ask yourself: “Does any other part of me object to this new behavior?” Be sensitive to any new signals that might indicate your choice isn’t ecological. If you get such a signal, go back to step four and consult your creative part again, asking it to develop new options that would satisfy the objecting part and still fulfill the positive intention. Check the new options for any objections.