Self-Calibrating Genuine Agreement

Being able to calibrate your own genuine, congruent agreement is a valuable skill. It can be useful when making decisions, clarifying your preferences, checking your internal results, practicing the “Six-Step Reframing” technique on yourself, and more.

Keep in mind: a sincere answer doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. It simply means you genuinely think so. So, don’t expect to guess winning lottery numbers this way.

Genuine agreement involves answering a closed question—one that can only be answered with “yes” (agreement) or “no” (disagreement). In reality, there’s also a “don’t know” (doubt) response. Let’s practice calibrating these signals.

1. Find 3-4 Things for Each Category

• Completely, sincerely agree with
• Completely, sincerely disagree with
• Feel doubtful or don’t know the answer

These can be about anything—from math to your grandmother’s last name. For example: What’s the square root of 16? Does the Earth orbit the Sun? In what year did your parents meet? Will Manchester United win their next match?

Since your unconscious mind is involved, questions should be clear and unambiguous. For example, “Is it raining now?” is vague, since it might be raining somewhere but not where you are. A better question would be, “Is it raining outside (right now)?”

2. Notice Your Internal Reactions

Observe how you react internally to agreement, disagreement, and doubt. To do this, make a few statements (internally) that you agree with and calibrate your reaction:

• The square root of nine is three.
• July comes after June.
• I arrived at work on time yesterday.

Notice changes in your posture, movements, inner voice, meta-feelings, breathing, and mental images.

Do the same for disagreement:

• The Earth is square-shaped.
• I am 15 years old.
• I like warm beer.

And for doubt:

• Will people travel to Mars before 2030?
• Will it rain heavily tomorrow?
• Did my parents first meet at the “Prague” restaurant?

For example, here’s how internal reactions might differ:

• Agreement: Nodding your head, relaxed muscles, slight smile, inner voice is clear and quick, mental image is bright, in front of you, and colorful, posture is symmetrical, warm and relaxed feeling in the center of your chest, breathing is deep and even.
• Disagreement: Head moves back, neck tenses, lips pressed together, shoulder and face muscles tense, posture is symmetrical, inner voice is quick and low, answers with a delay, tension in the solar plexus, breath held before answering, mental image is dark, close, and down to the right.
• Doubt: Head tilts to the side and pulls into shoulders, loss of symmetry, shoulders rise, moderate muscle tension, lower lip sticks out, no answer in inner voice, slight tension in the center of the chest, mental image is vague, dark, and blurry in front of you.

3. Choose 2-3 Key Calibration Signals

Select 2-3 characteristics that are most convenient for you to use when calibrating the sincerity of your answer. For example:

• Head movement
• Meta-feeling (body sensation)
• Inner dialogue voice

4. Practice Calibrating Your Internal Answers

Practice calibrating your internal response to closed questions—any kind, including those you don’t yet know the answer to:

• Do I like stewed zucchini?
• Should I meet with Sergeeva tomorrow?
• Should I buy this green jacket?
• Is my intention for self-actualization really about self-confidence?

If the answer surprises you, it’s helpful to analyze it afterward.