Groda Lotsapot’s Guide to Weed Etiquette

October 10, 2017

Here are 26 essential rules of weed etiquette according to Groda Lotsapot:

1. Whoever rolled the joint has the right to light it and take the first hit.
2. If someone rolled a good joint, don’t forget to compliment their skills.
3. If someone tries to smoke a whole bowl by themselves, justifying it with “it’s my weed, etc.,” that’s not cool. The punishment depends on the quality and amount of weed (if it was bad and there wasn’t much, just kick them out).
4. If someone is too high and keeps holding the lighter at the bowl for too long (because they’re just too stoned), they should pass the lighter to someone else. However, this doesn’t mean the next person gets to take a hit too—don’t abuse the “let me light it for you” excuse.
5. If someone is too high and blows into the pipe or joint, they have to sit out the next round (even if they brought the weed).
6. If you get high with someone at your place, offer them some food—don’t be stingy!
7. If a high friend asks for a sip of water, give it to them. (Cottonmouth is no joke!)
8. Related to #7: Don’t take huge gulps when sharing water!
9. If you’re sharing a joint, don’t put the whole thing in your mouth—smoke through your hands or a filter. No one likes a slobbery joint!
10. If you clear the whole bowl using a bong, leave the smoke in the chamber for the next person. Don’t hog it all or clear the carb yourself.
11. Never be greedy.
12. Don’t trash someone else’s stash. If you don’t like it, just don’t smoke it!
13. If a friend gets you high, make sure to return the favor in the future.
14. Never turn down a smoke session. Ever!
15. Story time: Once, my buddy and I decided to smoke. After lighting up and taking a hit, I passed the joint to him. The sound he made was like a vacuum cleaner. After a few of those hits, he handed me what used to be a joint. It reminded me of a scene from Cheech and Chong: “Hey man, let me get a hit.” He just looked at me.
16. I’ve noticed some “old school” smokers eat the resinous, nasty-smelling roach after a session. Maybe they want to get an extra buzz from the leftover resins, oils, and other gunk. It’s like going to a fancy restaurant and then licking the plate clean. Sure, it’s a “final touch,” but is it really worth it?
17. If you buy weed from a friend (or a friend’s friend), it’s good manners to roll a joint (even a small one) and smoke it with the person who sold it to you.
18. It’s rude to hand someone a bong with burnt weed (just ashes) without warning them that it’s cashed. Always let them know if the bowl is done.
19. Whoever packed the bowl has the right to take the first hit, no matter whose weed it is.
20. Say thank you to the person who got you high. It might sound silly, but a lot of people forget, and it’s a little annoying.
21. Whoever brought the weed gets to pick the music.
22. If you’re using someone else’s bong, don’t blow the ash out through it unless the owner does it themselves.
23. Never go to someone’s house just to wait for them to get home so you can get high. Of course, there are exceptions…
24. If you spill a bong, clean it up and refill it with fresh water.
25. If there’s only a tiny roach left and it’s hard for someone to finish it, offer to help them finish it through a bong so they don’t burn their fingers.
26. Don’t roll super skinny joints.