Three Ways to Overcome Helplessness

Fifty years ago, American psychologist Martin Seligman revolutionized our understanding of free will. Seligman conducted an experiment with dogs based on Pavlov’s classical conditioning. The goal was to create a fear response to a sound. While Pavlov’s dogs received meat after a bell, Seligman’s dogs received an electric shock. To prevent the dogs from escaping, they were restrained in special harnesses.

Seligman believed that when the dogs were moved to a pen with a low barrier, they would immediately try to escape at the sound of the signal. After all, living beings do everything they can to avoid pain, right? But in the new cage, the dogs just sat on the floor and whimpered. Not a single dog tried to jump over the easy obstacle—not even once. When a dog that hadn’t been part of the experiment was placed in the same situation, it escaped effortlessly.

Seligman concluded: when it’s impossible to control or influence unpleasant events, a powerful sense of helplessness develops. In 1976, he received the American Psychological Association award for discovering learned helplessness.

What About People?

Seligman’s theory has been tested by scientists around the world. It’s been proven that if a person consistently:

• experiences failure despite their best efforts,
• goes through difficult situations where their actions have no effect,
• finds themselves in chaos where rules constantly change and any action can lead to punishment,

their willpower and desire to do anything at all begin to atrophy. Apathy sets in, followed by depression. The person gives up. Learned helplessness sounds like the old movie line: “Whether it’s freedom or not, it’s all the same.”

Method 1: Do Something—Anything

Seriously: anything. Psychologist Bruno Bettelheim survived a concentration camp that operated under constant chaos. The camp administration, he said, would introduce new, often senseless and contradictory rules. Guards put prisoners in situations where any action could lead to harsh punishment. In this environment, people quickly lost their will and broke down. Bettelheim suggested an antidote: do anything that isn’t forbidden. Can you go to sleep instead of discussing camp rumors? Go to sleep. Can you brush your teeth? Brush them. Not because you want to sleep or care about hygiene, but because this way, you regain a sense of subjective control.

First, you have a choice: to do one thing or another. Second, in making a choice, you can immediately act on your decision. What matters is that it’s your own, personal decision, made independently. Even a small action becomes a vaccine against turning into a passive bystander.

This method’s effectiveness was confirmed in the 1970s by Bettelheim’s American colleagues. Ellen Langer and Judith Rodin conducted experiments in places where people have the least freedom: prisons, nursing homes, and homeless shelters. What did they find? Prisoners allowed to arrange their cell furniture and choose TV programs had fewer health problems and less aggression. Elderly people who could decorate their rooms, care for a plant, and pick a movie for the evening felt more energetic and experienced slower memory loss. Homeless people who could choose their bed and lunch menu were more likely to look for—and find—jobs.

How to cope: Do something simply because you can. Choose how to spend your free hour before bed, what to cook for dinner, or how to spend your weekend. Rearrange your furniture to suit your needs. Find as many points of control as possible where you can make and act on your own decisions.

What can this do for you? Remember Seligman’s dogs? The problem wasn’t that they couldn’t jump the barrier. For people, too, the problem is often not the situation itself, but the loss of will and belief in the significance of their actions. The approach of “I do it because I chose to” helps maintain or restore a sense of control. This way, your willpower doesn’t fade away, and you keep moving toward overcoming difficult situations.

Method 2: Overcome Helplessness with Small Steps

Beliefs like “I can’t do anything right,” “I’m useless,” or “My efforts don’t matter” are built from specific experiences. Like a connect-the-dots game, we pick certain stories and link them together, forming a belief about ourselves. Over time, we focus more on experiences that confirm this belief and stop noticing exceptions. The good news is that self-beliefs can be changed in the same way. Narrative therapy, for example, helps people see alternative stories and gradually build a new self-image. Where there was once a story of helplessness, you can find another: a story of your value, the importance of your actions, and your ability to influence what happens.

It’s important to find specific past examples: When did I succeed? When did I influence something? When did I change a situation through my actions? It’s just as important to focus on the present—small, achievable goals help here. For example, organize a kitchen cabinet or make that important phone call you’ve been putting off. No goal is too small—they all matter. Did you do it? Great! Celebrate your win! Where your attention goes, your energy flows. The more you focus on achievements, the more energy you have for your new, preferred story. The less likely you are to give up.

How to cope: Set small, realistic goals and make sure to celebrate achieving them. Keep a list and reread it at least twice a month. Over time, you’ll notice your goals and achievements getting bigger. Find a way to reward yourself for each completed item.

What can this do for you? Small achievements help you build up resources for bigger actions and boost your confidence. String together new experiences like beads on a string. Over time, these details will form a new story about yourself: “I matter,” “My actions make a difference,” “I can influence my life.”

Method 3: A Different Perspective

Seligman discovered the problem and then dedicated his career to finding solutions. He found that animals can learn to resist helplessness if they have previous experience with successful actions. Dogs that first learned to turn off the shock by pressing a panel with their heads kept looking for a way out, even when restrained.

Working with well-known psychotherapists, Seligman began studying how people react to external circumstances. Twenty years of research led him to this conclusion: the way we explain what happens to us affects whether we look for ways to act or give up. People who believe “Bad things happen because of me” are more prone to depression and helplessness. Those who think “Bad things can happen, but it’s not always my fault and it will eventually end” recover more quickly from setbacks.

Seligman proposed a method for rethinking experiences and changing perceptions called the “ABCDE Model”:

• A – Adversity: Recall an unpleasant situation that triggers pessimistic thoughts and helplessness. At first, choose situations you’d rate no higher than 5 out of 10 in difficulty, to make the learning process safer.
• B – Belief: Write down your interpretation of the event—everything you think about what happened.
• C – Consequence: How did you behave as a result? What did you feel?
• D – Disputation: Write down evidence that questions or disproves your negative beliefs.
• E – Energizing: What feelings (and maybe actions) did the new arguments and more optimistic thoughts bring up?

How to cope: Try to challenge your pessimistic beliefs in writing. Keep a journal to record unpleasant events and work through them using the ABCDE model. Reread your notes every few days.

What can this do for you? Stressful situations will always arise. But with time and practice, you can learn to handle anxiety more effectively, avoid giving in to helplessness, and develop your own successful coping strategies. The energy that once fueled pessimistic beliefs will be freed up for other important areas of your life.