Anchoring from A to Z

The anchor is a symbol widely used in many areas of psychology. The essence of the anchoring technique is that, just as an anchor can bring up objects from the depths of the water, it can also bring up emotions from the depths of a person’s subconscious. An anchor can be a gesture, sound, smell, image, or something else.

In reality, there’s no difference between anchoring and Pavlov’s classic reflex, where he triggered a dog’s salivation response with a signal: turning on a light or ringing a bell. The only difference is that we apply Pavlov’s methods to people, and in a more humane way. After all, we’re interested not in salivation, but in changes in a person’s mood. By learning to use anchoring correctly, you can trigger a desire to buy, nervousness, or fear in someone.

You use anchors all the time, you just don’t realize it. Life is full of experiences: joy, sadness, hatred, love, betrayal, nervousness, excitement, anger—they follow us everywhere. When we remember the past, we recall not only what happened, but also what we felt at the time. Sometimes, we can even feel the same emotion again without remembering the event that caused it. That’s why, when you see a stranger from afar, you might instantly decide you don’t like them. Maybe they remind you of someone who bullied you at school, or they’re wearing clothes similar to your grumpy boss’s.

In this case, appearance or clothing triggers a specific reaction, which is called an anchor. An anchor can be an object, situation, or experience that your subconscious associates with a certain emotion. Make sense? We encounter such anchors all the time. For example, you hear a familiar melody, and your soul fills with positive feelings. “Oh, that’s Nirvana! Remember when…?” Or you look through a photo album, and old memories come to life, making you feel the same excitement you did back then. Many filmmakers intentionally use familiar music to create a certain mood in viewers.

How to Set an Anchor

The choice of anchor (touch, gesture, word, etc.) depends on your preference and the situation. Touch is a strong anchor for most people. But sometimes physical contact isn’t possible, so it’s better to use a gesture combined with a phrase. The gesture should be different from your usual ones—choose a special facial expression, a tap on the forehead, a clap of your hands, and so on.

It’s best to pick a word that can be easily “hidden” in the middle of a sentence. The word that will serve as the anchor can be different later, but it should sound similar to the first and be emphasized in the same way.

Here’s an example. You’re playing billiards. To set an anchor, you make a special gesture or touch your companion while saying, “What a great shot!” emphasizing the word “great.” Later, during a business meeting, you make the same gesture and say, “I’m sure this is a great solution to the problem. What do you think?” Again, emphasizing the word “great.”

Another example: a car salesperson says, “I’m sure this is a good choice. What do you think?” and pats you on the shoulder. You immediately feel good, not realizing that earlier in the conversation, while telling a funny story, he set an anchor on the word “good” and is now using it to trigger the desired emotion.

Now think about what anchors advertisers use to make you buy a product. Often, the product itself is an anchor for positive emotions—like Coca-Cola. We don’t even realize why we feel happy when we see the soda’s logo, or why we suddenly want to buy something when we spot the Nike logo. Next time you watch TV, pay attention to what mood they’re trying to create in you.

Custom-Made Anchors

It’s important to learn how to create the mood you want in your conversation partner. Of course, it would be great to know what anchors are in their subconscious so you could use them at the right moment. It would be especially useful to know your own anchors. Tired? Want to sleep? Press a button and—oops, you’re energetic and full of life. That would be amazing, but unfortunately, anchors belong to our subconscious, and finding them isn’t easy. But don’t give up! You don’t have to look for old anchors; you can simply set new, equally effective ones, and you’ll know exactly what result you want to achieve. That’s much easier than randomly pressing old anchor buttons.

What you say or do when your conversation partner is experiencing a strong emotion will remain in their memory, associated with that feeling. Your actions or words become the anchor. When you repeat the same phrase or action, you’ll trigger the same feeling as before, and the intensity will depend on how well you set the anchor.

Knowing the anchoring technique, you can avoid many unnecessary offenses. You’ll also become more aware of your own anchors. You’ll notice what emotions others are trying to trigger in you, consciously or subconsciously. Like suggestions, anchors can be both positive and negative.

Manipulation Using Anchoring

So how do you set an anchor? For example, suppose you need to make someone feel trust, and then anchor it so you can access that feeling later and manipulate them. The sequence of actions is as follows. First, you need to trigger the desired feeling in the person by asking a specific question. For example, ask when was the last time they felt trust and weren’t disappointed. Sometimes, the person may never have felt the needed emotion, so you’ll have to rephrase your question, such as, “What will you feel when you realize you’ve started to trust someone?”

The point of these questions is to make the person experience the desired feeling. To successfully set the anchor, you need to catch the peak of that emotion. Only then, at the right moment, can you fix it. This is key to manipulation. The anchor can be any sound or movement, or just a touch, but only if it’s within the person’s field of awareness. It’s important to note that in this technique of Ericksonian hypnosis, a kinesthetic anchor (touch) is very powerful and almost impossible to resist. So, it’s best to set kinesthetic anchors by touching the person you want to influence.

Afterward, you can check your results. If you reproduce the anchor as precisely as possible, the other person will experience the same emotion as before. This is the essence of covert Ericksonian hypnosis. For example, if you use a phone call as an anchor, every time the phone rings, the person will feel the anchored emotions again.

Subconscious Negative Anchors

American coach Jerry Richardson gave an interesting example. A father would hug his son every time the boy was sad. Of course, he did this to comfort and cheer up his child, but the context was so negative that the boy began to associate hugs with sadness. This wouldn’t have happened if the father hugged his son from time to time, not just when he was upset—but unfortunately, he didn’t. From then on, whenever the father hugged his son, the boy felt even worse. Even if the child was in a good mood, after a hug, his mood would suddenly drop.

Unfortunately, we tend to make physical contact at the very moment a loved one is upset or anxious. Richardson suggested that this is why many people don’t like being touched—they’ve associated physical contact with negative emotions since childhood. People remember not only words and actions, but also the feelings they experienced at the time. In general, it’s better to make physical contact when someone is in a good mood. That way, you’ll have a positive anchor to use if your loved one gets upset.

But it’s not just touch that can be a good anchor. Words, images, tone of voice, movement, smell, color, taste—all of these can be associated with certain feelings. Of course, visual people prefer visual anchors, while kinesthetic people prefer physical contact. If you’re not sure which anchor to use, try a combination. Emphasize a word in a phrase with your voice. At the same time, touch your conversation partner’s hand. The more anchors you use, the stronger the effect. Good luck practicing!