Eight Main Manipulative Personality Types

Manipulation can take many forms, and understanding the main types of manipulative personalities can help you recognize and deal with them more effectively. Here are the eight primary manipulative types, as described by Everett Shostrom in his book “Nobody Is Born a Manipulator.”

1. The Dictator
   The Dictator greatly exaggerates their own power. They dominate, give orders, quote authorities—in short, they do everything possible to control their victims. Variations of the Dictator include: The Prioress, The Boss, The Chief, and The Lesser Gods.
2. The Doormat
   Usually the victim of the Dictator and their direct opposite. The Doormat develops great skill in interacting with the Dictator, exaggerating their own sensitivity. Typical tactics include forgetting, not listening, and passive silence. Variations of the Doormat: The Hypochondriac, The Fool, The Chameleon, The Conformist, The Shy One, The Withdrawer.
3. The Calculator
   The Calculator exaggerates the need to control everything and everyone. They deceive, evade, lie, and try both to outsmart and double-check others. Variations: The Deal-Maker, The Swindler, The Poker Player, The Advertiser, The Blackmailer.
4. The Clinger
   The polar opposite of the Calculator, the Clinger exaggerates their own dependence. This is a person who craves to be cared for, allowing and subtly forcing others to do their work for them. Variations: The Parasite, The Whiner, The Eternal Child, The Hypochondriac, The Dependent, The Helpless, The “Life Has Failed Me, So…” type.
5. The Bully
   The Bully exaggerates their own aggressiveness, cruelty, and hostility, controlling others through various threats. Variations: The Insulter, The Hater, The Gangster, The Threatener. The female version of the Bully is the Nagging Woman (“The Saw”).
6. The Nice Guy
   The Nice Guy exaggerates their own caring, love, and attentiveness. They “kill with kindness.” In some ways, dealing with the Nice Guy is even harder than with the Bully. You can’t fight the Nice Guy. Surprisingly, in any conflict between the Bully and the Nice Guy, the Bully loses. Variations: The Pleaser, The Virtuous Moralist, The Organization Man.
7. The Judge
   The Judge exaggerates their own critical nature. They trust no one, are full of accusations and indignation, and forgive with great difficulty. Variations: The Know-It-All, The Accuser, The Exposer, The Evidence Collector, The Shamer, The Evaluator, The Avenger, The One Who Forces Confessions.
8. The Protector
   The opposite of the Judge, the Protector excessively emphasizes their support and tolerance for mistakes. They spoil others by sympathizing beyond all measure and refuse to let those they protect stand on their own and become independent. Instead of taking care of their own affairs, they focus on the needs of others. Variations: The Mother Hen, The Comforter, The Patron, The Martyr, The Helper, The Self-Sacrificing One.