Character Grit and Authenticity

Should you strive to be successful or authentic? Should you cultivate grit or try to understand yourself? Should you pursue your goals at any cost or protect your values?

Achieving your goals requires grit: passion and perseverance over the long term. Grit keeps us moving toward our North Star, despite the inevitable challenges and hardships of life. To do this, you need to be able to ignore distractions and stay focused on your goal.

But life isn’t just about achieving goals. You can have passion and persistence in pursuing a goal, yet feel empty once you reach the top of the mountain. I believe that in any journey toward a goal, alongside grit and endurance, every hero needs another quality: authenticity.

What Is Authenticity?

Authenticity is the ability to set aside various social roles (therapist, professional, teacher, manager, etc.) in communication, allowing your true, unique thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to come through. In other words, it’s about being genuine.

According to humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers, we are naturally motivated to move toward our true selves. Rogers described the “fully functioning person” as someone deeply in touch with their experiences and emotions, guided by meaningful goals and projects, and committed to prosocial values. He also emphasized the importance of maintaining stability, coherence, and authenticity in our self-beliefs.

Rogers believed these were our most important basic needs, and that the greater the gap between our personal experience and our conscious self-image, the more internal conflict we experience and the greater our need for psychotherapy. The main goal of therapy, according to Rogers, is to develop unconditional positive regard for ourselves and others, and to cultivate authenticity.

Recent research shows that authenticity is indeed crucial for a fulfilling and psychologically healthy life. Authenticity is linked to higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, engagement with the environment, a greater sense of autonomy, positive relationships, personal growth, self-acceptance, and lower levels of stress and anxiety. Researchers have also found that authenticity is associated with a more secure form of self-esteem that doesn’t depend on others’ approval.

The Feeling of Authenticity

So what does authenticity feel like? People often describe their most meaningful life moments as those when they felt a deep connection with themselves and others. Data from experimental studies show that the more someone feels self-identified, the more meaning and satisfaction they find in life. When people describe their most authentic experiences, they mention feeling fulfilled, calm, loving, enthusiastic, open to new experiences, and in harmony with their surroundings.

Grit and Authenticity

But how does authenticity relate to grit? In a recent study, two Swedish researchers, Mia Wainio and Daiva Daukantaite, explored the nuances of the relationship between grit, authenticity, and well-being, building on foundational work in humanistic psychology. To measure authenticity, they asked people to rate themselves on three factors: living authentically (“I live according to my values and beliefs”), self-alienation (“I feel disconnected from my true self”), and susceptibility to external influence (“I always feel I have to do what others expect of me”).

German psychoanalyst Karen Horney believed that alienation from one’s own self is the main source of maladjustment, arguing that a person’s true essence is a “living, unique core of personality, the only part that can and wants to grow.” She even claimed that alienation from the real self is like making a deal with the devil: “giving up the self is like selling your soul!”

So what did the Swedish researchers find? First, grit was positively correlated with all measures of well-being, including harmony in life and a sense of coherence. They measured harmony by asking people to rate statements like, “My lifestyle allows me to be in harmony.” The sense of coherence was measured by asking to what extent people found their world understandable, manageable, and meaningful. The positive link between grit and these outcomes suggests that people with perseverance and grit can follow their passion while maintaining a harmonious connection with their environment. In fact, Rogers noted that when we are actively engaged in our own development, we move away from rigid, fixed patterns of behavior.

The strongest relationships were found between grit and measures of eudaimonia-autonomy, environmental mastery, self-acceptance, personal growth, purpose in life, and positive relationships with others. The link between grit and happiness was weaker. This matches earlier research showing that grit is more closely related to a sense of meaning in life than to simply feeling good.

This also aligns with a large body of positive psychology literature showing the difference between meaning and happiness. Happiness is about how satisfied you are with your life, how often you experience positive emotions, and how rarely you experience negative ones. In contrast, meaning is more about self-understanding, ongoing personal growth, and cultivating your strengths. Meaning and happiness often go hand in hand, but they are not always the same. Each independently contributes to a better life.

Most interestingly, the researchers found that the relationship between grit and happiness depends on the level of authenticity and coherence a person experiences. This suggests that grit and goal achievement can give you meaning, but that’s not enough to be satisfied with your life. According to Carl Rogers and other humanistic psychologists, authenticity in your most important pursuits and a sense of coherence in your life are the missing pieces of the puzzle. In fact, when the researchers accounted for authenticity and coherence, the link between grit and happiness disappeared entirely.

These results are consistent with other studies showing that pursuing goals aligned with our values-goals that match our identity, core needs, character traits, and talents-is linked to higher life satisfaction. So, not only perseverance in achieving goals, but also the authenticity of those goals and maintaining your identity are important for well-being. As the researchers note:

Grit may not reflect a rigid determination to pursue goals at any cost, but rather a determination to pursue goals as long as they align with our inner values.

True grit requires a stable connection with our real selves and inner stability to cope with a chaotic, uncertain, and challenging world. While “existential courage” is certainly important for recovering from the inevitable stresses of daily life, it alone is not enough for complete life satisfaction. When grit is fueled by the genuine impulses of your soul and prosocial goals, you become an unstoppable hero.