The Power of Personality

Once, three kung fu masters argued about who was the best among them. To settle the dispute, they gathered the townspeople in the square and announced a competition. The first master stepped forward and said, “People, throw stones at me!” The crowd began to hurl stones, but he deflected them all with his hands, palms, fists, and feet—none hit him. The people exclaimed, “Yes! You’re a true master!”

The second master stepped up and said, “People, throw stones at me!” As the crowd threw stones, he dodged, jumped, fell, sprang up, twisted like a snake—again, not a single stone hit him. The people shouted, “Wow! You’re a true master!”

The third master stood before the crowd and said, “PEOPLE, THROW STONES AT ME…!!!” But no one dared to throw a stone at him.

In life, we sometimes find it easy to “throw stones” at some people, but not at others. Some people are quick to attack us, while others hesitate. Some have a strong influence on us, while others do not. We can influence some people, but not others. We live in a world of communication and influence, where we constantly try to affect others and are affected ourselves—sometimes we lead, sometimes we follow. This applies to business, negotiations, relationships, conflicts, family, and personal life—anywhere people interact.

Why Do We React Differently to Different People?

Think about your own experience. One company leader commands respect, another has long lost it. One manager excels at negotiations or sales, another shouldn’t be trusted with the task. One husband is truly the head of the family, while another is so insignificant that even the cat ignores him.

Why do we respond differently to different people? Why do children ignore one adult’s pleas to go to bed, but obey another after just one sentence? Why does one person easily persuade us—even with absurd ideas—while another struggles to convince us of even sensible things?

The answer is this: Our will, our subconscious, our personality responds to strength—specifically, the psychological strength of another person. This happens unconsciously; we often don’t realize how someone has influenced us, but it’s already happened, sometimes against our own interests. We might explain it as “he convinced me,” “she talked me into it,” “he persuaded me,” but the essence is that our personality has come under the influence of another’s psychological strength. This strength isn’t about physical power—there are plenty of examples of “strong” women who dominate men in politics, business, and personal life. Psychological strength is perceived by our subconscious as inner, personal power.

The Power of the Gaze

Interestingly, we can never truly know a person’s real strength, but we form an impression based on their appearance—especially their eyes. “The eyes are the window to the soul,” as the saying goes. Through someone’s eyes, we judge their strength or weakness, their inner turmoil, their emotions, and, with some skill, even their thoughts. A look can “kill”—figuratively, thankfully. Modern research shows that human eyes have a powerful bioenergetic effect.

The social significance of a gaze has biological roots. Two tigers, meeting on a path, lock eyes to determine—without fighting—who is stronger and more entitled to resources: territory, food, mates, a place in the sun. The tension in this standoff rivals that of business giants. The one who shows more willpower, withstands the psychological pressure, and proves his strength with his gaze earns a higher rank and becomes the winner. Watch cats—they can stare at each other for hours, deciding who gets the “cat paradise” (the neighboring dumpster).

The same happens unconsciously among people. Through our gaze, we project our personal strength and shape how others perceive us. Someone who can’t look others in the eye is seen as shy and, apart from pity, doesn’t inspire other feelings. In a conflict, if someone looks away, we see them as weak, with little chance of winning. An employee who avoids eye contact while being reprimanded only emphasizes their guilt and lowers their status. A businessman who can’t meet his opponent’s gaze during negotiations finds it harder to appear strong—and no one negotiates with the weak; the weak get dictated to.

On TV, we often see scenes from the Kremlin: “a minister at an audience with President Putin.” You can immediately read the nervousness of some ministers by their restless eyes and behavior. The impression of their personal strength, confidence, and professionalism is not in their favor—it’s a pitiful sight. Another example: the downfall of a well-known oil tycoon (whose name starts with “K”) and his subsequent show trial was influenced, in part, by his weak image—especially his gaze. His shifty, uncertain, restless eyes were associated with weakness and insecurity. When the authorities needed to make an example of a “king of life,” they chose the weakest link. Of course, this wasn’t the only factor, but it was important.

Magnetic gazes weren’t just the domain of great hypnotists, but also great politicians, writers, and influential people of their time. Our president, for example, now holds a steady, convincing gaze with his ministers, the press, and the camera. Early in his career, Vladimir Putin’s gaze was not his strong suit—he was restless and avoided eye contact. Now, he’s mastered it, and that’s a fact.

The Art of Zero Reaction

The gaze and demeanor become especially important when someone is “testing” you. Have you ever seen the face of an employee being scolded by a boss? Or a driver about to be ticketed by a cop? Or your own face when someone says something unpleasant?

In confrontations, tough negotiations, or conflicts, these are moments of truth—when it becomes clear who’s who. At such times, it’s crucial to project psychological strength and confidently control your demeanor, speech, and gaze.

This is where the technique called “zero reaction” comes in. What does your opponent, aggressor, or manipulator want when they “throw a stone” at you—make harsh demands or accusations? They want to see that their “stone” hit the target. How do they see this? By your reaction: if you flinch, look away, show discomfort, shrink, grimace, your voice trembles, or you rush to defend or justify yourself. All these are signals to the aggressor that their arrow hit the mark. That’s what matters most to them—not how you defend yourself, but that their words affected you, meaning they have influence over you. This gives them more enthusiasm and energy in the confrontation. By reacting, you’re fueling their fire! But if the aggressor fires one arrow, then another, then a third—and your visible reaction is “zero,” meaning you show nothing—this inevitably drains their power and energy.

An aggressor who sees no reaction is half-disarmed. Where did their arrows go? Did they miss, hit your armor, or were they made of foam? The point is, if there’s no visible reaction, the arrow didn’t hit. That means you’re stronger than their arrows, their attack, and them! This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respond to aggression, but it’s important to restrain your initial, automatic defensive reaction, which signals vulnerability and lowers your status. During this “zero reaction,” you’ll have time to choose the best response—whether to show aggression, respond gently, or let their words pass (sometimes the best choice).

The key is that “zero reaction” is associated with strength, confidence, and invulnerability. This is what it means to “take a hit.” The one who takes a hit stays “on their feet”—unshaken, outwardly calm, with no sign of pain.

The Iron Ball Metaphor

Here’s a metaphor to explain this technique. Imagine a huge, heavy iron ball, about a meter in diameter, rolling slowly and steadily across a smooth floor. “That’s strength!” you think. Now imagine a small metal ball flying out from around the corner, hitting the big ball, and bouncing off. If the big ball even slightly changes direction, you’ll be disappointed—it’s not as heavy as it seemed if a small ball could move it. Maybe it’s hollow or made of papier-mâché. But if the big ball keeps rolling, unchanged, you know its mass is incomparable—the small force can’t move the big one!

In acting, it’s easiest to play supermen. You just need the right look (a square jaw) and to use “zero reaction” the whole time on stage or in front of the camera. Think of any classic superman—Arnold, Stallone, Bond, Stierlitz, or any other strong character—they make a convincing impression because they react to any irritant or extreme situation with zero reaction—absolute composure. Only then do they act instantly.

“The Terminator feels no pain, remorse, or pity. You can’t bargain with him, you can’t bribe him. He’ll never stop…” If viewers saw any human reaction—fear, surprise, pain, annoyance, laughter, joy, sadness, anger—they wouldn’t be supermen, just ordinary people with all the usual weaknesses. In every such movie, supermen never show human emotions. Even when the Terminator is shot, tears off his own arm, or sinks into molten metal, his face remains stone-cold and emotionless.

To Arnold’s credit, he demonstrates mastery of zero reaction not just in movies. During his campaign for governor of California, someone threw an egg at him as he walked through a crowd, smiling his Hollywood smile. The egg hit his shoulder, leaving a bright yellow stain on his jacket. But! Nothing changed on the Terminator’s face—no change in his broad American smile. He didn’t even turn his head or raise an eyebrow! What did Arnold do? He kept walking, shaking hands, smiling. Only his security fussed, wiping the stain. That’s composure and coolness—or a perfectly executed take for another movie. Any reaction other than zero would have been a loss and disastrous for his political rating (which was the provocateurs’ goal). Imagine an angry Terminator—glowering, spitting, cursing, charging at the offender, fist raised. Frightening, but also humiliating. Why? Because he’d be lowering himself to the aggressor’s level, showing he was affected and thrown off balance. That would mean his opponent was just as strong, and Schwarzenegger not as strong as people thought. The American people might never have seen him as governor.

But Schwarzenegger follows the rules of the genre in real life, too. After reaching the microphone, he allowed himself a joke: “You offered me an egg—where’s the bacon to go with it?” The crowd laughed in relief.

When Dignity Is All That’s Left

“Anyone can offend an artist.” But not every artist can withstand it. In 2004, a scandal involving singer Philipp Kirkorov made headlines. At a press conference in Rostov after a concert, a journalist asked a pointed question about the number of remakes in his repertoire. Perhaps due to fatigue, unpreparedness, or a hot temper, Kirkorov did exactly what you shouldn’t do in public. Everyone saw he was hurt—his face twisted, eyes narrowed, lips quivered, he got visibly worked up: “Who are you?! Do you know how many remakes I have?! You don’t know my work!!! What are you staring at?! Why are you showing off your chest?!”

The result: biting press coverage, public backlash, canceled concerts, a hurt and defensive Kirkorov, attempts at justification, lawsuits, compensation for moral damages. Everyone took a shot at him.

Even when all is lost, dignity remains. No matter how much you want to lash out at an offender, your initial reaction is crucial. If everyone sees you rush to defend yourself, it means you were hurt! Kirkorov’s image could have been saved by mastering zero reaction—looking calmly at the journalist, pausing, answering with general words about the number of remakes and the occasional misunderstandings of respected journalists, even the most charming ones. That would have been enough. His image—and the millions invested in it—wouldn’t have gone down the drain in a minute.

Churchill once said, “When Stalin enters the room, I feel as if I’m lifted out of my chair.” I wish all readers to develop their art of influencing people, to possess no less influence than Joseph Stalin, and, most importantly, to use your personal strength for your own good and for the good of others!

In the next article, we’ll discuss how to develop a winner’s gaze and strengthen your personality.