Perspective Shift: A Linguistic Tool for Managing Emotions

Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations are fascinating not only for their content but also for the techniques the Stoic philosopher used in his self-dialogue. One of these techniques is distancing. Social psychologist Ariana Orwell examines a linguistic device frequently found in Aurelius’s writings and discusses numerous modern studies that confirm its effectiveness in decision-making, emotional regulation, and behavior management.

Marcus Aurelius and the Art of Perspective

In the 2nd century AD, near the end of his life, Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius began recording his reflections. He asked himself the same questions many of us do today: How do you live a meaningful life? How do you find resilience in the face of suffering? What does it mean to be happy?

Aurelius never intended for anyone else to read the dialogue he had with himself, nor did he plan for Meditations to be published. Yet, despite recurring themes, the text reads as a series of independent entries, ranging from a sentence or two to a full paragraph. In these fragments, Aurelius left behind profound seeds of wisdom, many of which have been validated by modern psychological research. But Meditations not only reflect Aurelius’s insightful thoughts—they also reveal something unusual about the man himself: his ability to shift perspective while contemplating important ideas.

Shifting Pronouns, Shifting Perspectives

At times, Aurelius’s thoughts are written from the first-person perspective, as shown by his use of “I.” At other times, he uses “we,” expressing ideas that apply not just to himself but to humanity as a whole (for example, “Our life is a battlefield and merely a pilgrimage”). In other entries, he switches again, using the second-person singular “you.” Aurelius’s use of the second person is not so much an address to the reader (remember, he didn’t expect to have one) as it is a way of viewing his own life as if he were having a conversation with himself—addressing himself directly.

In her research, social psychologist Ariana Orwell studied how subtle linguistic shifts like these can significantly change the content of our thoughts and, as a result, alter what we feel. She notes that this is why she was especially struck by the following quote, in which Aurelius gives himself advice—in the second person—on how to calm the raging inner sea of the mind, which, if left unchecked, can make a person feel as if they are drowning:

“Let your mind not be tossed up and down, nor pile up in your thoughts the many misfortunes and heavy troubles to which you, like anyone else, are subject. But since all this happens, ask yourself and say: What in this situation seems unbearable to you? You will be ashamed to admit it. Then remember that neither the future nor the past can harm you, but only the present. (And if you set limits to this, it will shrink), and then check your mind to see if it can be patient for so short a time (just a moment).”

Here, Marcus Aurelius writes about the power people have over their own thoughts. He suggests we ask ourselves, “What is upsetting you right now?” The wording is crucial—he doesn’t write, “What is upsetting me?” Instead, he advises himself to ask this question from the perspective of an outside observer, using a detached viewpoint toward himself and his problems.

Distanced Self-Talk: A Powerful Psychological Tool

This process of reflecting on oneself using second- or third-person pronouns, or even one’s own name, is what Orwell calls “distanced self-talk.” Increasingly, psychological research shows that distancing from our own states can help us regulate negative thoughts and emotions in various situations—from processing painful past experiences to handling stressful tasks.

According to Orwell, these findings about self-distancing are based on decades of research showing that psychological distance—looking beyond the “here and now”—is a key factor in aligning our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with our goals. By using the second-person pronoun “you” when reflecting on ourselves, we can step outside our usual, egocentric perspective and view our thoughts and feelings more objectively. This distanced self-perspective opens up new ways of thinking that can change our feelings and behaviors in emotionally charged situations.

Research Findings: The Benefits of Distanced Reflection

For example, in one study, Orwell and her colleagues found that when participants were asked to process their feelings using distanced self-reflection (e.g., “Why does Dylan feel this way?”) instead of immersed self-reflection (e.g., “Why do I feel this way?”), they developed a more positive attitude toward personal negative experiences that triggered emotions like betrayal, anger, rejection, disappointment, anxiety, and existential threat. Moreover, these benefits persisted even among volunteers who were especially prone to anxiety and rumination.

Another study by her team, conducted during the 2014 Ebola outbreak in the U.S., showed that when participants were instructed to write about the threat of the virus using distanced (versus immersed) self-reflection, those who were particularly anxious about it began to reason more rationally (listing more fact-based reasons for concern), which reduced their anxiety. In another study, Ethan Kross and his team at the University of Michigan asked volunteers to use distanced self-reflection to mentally prepare for an upcoming speech. Compared to a control group, this helped them view the speech as a challenge they had the resources to overcome, rather than as an overwhelming threat. Researchers at the University at Buffalo in New York conducted a similar study and found that this shift in cognitive appraisal—from threat to challenge—was also reflected in a calmer physiological response.

Beyond Emotion Regulation: Broader Benefits

The benefits of distanced self-reflection go beyond helping people regulate negative emotions. This practice has also been shown to promote calm reasoning, increase willingness to compromise, and help people recognize the limits of their own knowledge. Similarly, when considering distanced reflection in the context of moral dilemmas, it helped study participants set aside personal preferences that might cloud their judgment. For example, in a scenario where you witness your best friend sexually harassing someone, distanced self-reflection can help you decide to report it, despite your close relationship.

Distanced Self-Talk for Children

This linguistic tool isn’t just useful for adults. In one study, young children (as young as four years old) were able to persist longer at a boring computer task when prompted to periodically check in with themselves using their own name (e.g., “Is Gabriella working well?”) rather than first-person pronouns (e.g., “Am I working well?”). These benefits of psychological distance were even greater when children were instructed to take the perspective of a fictional character known for being hardworking (like Batman or Dora the Explorer).

Why Distanced Self-Talk Works

Part of the reason distanced self-talk can be so helpful for both adults and children in various situations is that it’s easy to use. You may have heard advice like “Take a step back” or “Look at the big picture,” which can be frustrating and make you think, “Easier said than done!” Distanced self-talk offers a relatively simple solution (supported by brain scan research that shows this practice doesn’t require excessive cognitive effort).

Applying the Technique: Following Marcus Aurelius’s Example

When Marcus Aurelius wrote about our ability to change the nature of our thoughts as a way to change our emotions, he understood something profound about human psychology. Centuries later, research has confirmed that changing the way we think about something is a powerful way to cope with and manage emotional reactions. To make this process easier, you can try following Aurelius’s example and work through your negative thoughts and feelings by addressing yourself as “you” or by name. By using distancing, you can leverage the structure of language to take a step back and see the bigger picture.