Projection: How to See Your Own Flaws in Others

Everyone acts based on their assessment of a situation and their own state of mind. In other words, our actions are partly determined by our environment—by what we perceive in front of us.

If a person feels like someone is yelling at them, they’ll respond accordingly: yell back, shut down, run away, hit, speak calmly, try to soothe, obey, or nod—whatever feels right to them.

However, it’s important to remember that our perception of the world is subjective. We never truly know what’s happening objectively. We see everything through the lens of our own experience. For example, a child sees a strange green thing, an adult woman sees a cactus, her husband sees not just a cactus but a Ferocactus pilosus, and a camel sees food.

It’s even harder to determine what’s going on in someone else’s mind—their feelings and reactions. Sometimes they’ll tell us, sometimes they don’t hide it, and sometimes we guess based on nonverbal cues. But all of these are indirect signs. They might lie, pretend, or we might misinterpret their signals.

People can’t stand uncertainty. If there’s an information gap, we try to fill it. Some people investigate, some imagine what could be there, some extrapolate from past experience, and some project.

What Are Projections?

Projection is a defense mechanism where a person attributes their own subjective feelings or thoughts to an external object or person.

Example: Euphrosyne is riding the subway. She feels like everyone is judging her for her cheap clothes. She hates them for it, because this is the nicest outfit she can afford and she looks neat enough. Besides, that other woman looks even worse and is dressed even cheaper, yet has the nerve to look at her judgmentally!

After talking to a psychologist, it might turn out that Euphrosyne herself thinks her clothes are cheap. She wishes she could dress better, and it’s important to her. She’s unhappy with her clothes, but it’s too painful to admit. So, her mind protects her by projecting her own judgments onto others. This way, she can argue with them: “What’s the big deal?” “It’s not about price, it’s about style!” “You dress even cheaper!” She also avoids taking responsibility for her own self-criticism, allowing her to deny the facts. If everyone thinks she’s “cheap,” and she’s angry about it, then maybe she’s not so “cheap” after all.

In short, projection is when a person transfers their own feelings, thoughts, emotions, intentions, or experiences onto others.

Think of a projector: the image is inside, but we see it where the projector is pointed. That’s how projection works. Wherever a person looks, they see their own inner content. This is why projections can prevent us from responding appropriately to situations. Someone projecting their own issues onto others will react not to the actual people around them, but to their own internal content. This, of course, doesn’t make interactions any easier or more pleasant.

Projections in Everyday Life

Learning to recognize projections in daily life gives a person new perspectives. They worry less about others’ opinions, and their interactions improve. This happens partly because they reduce their own projections by learning to spot them, and partly because they start to see the projections of others.

Other people’s behavior becomes more three-dimensional and nuanced. You can make more educated guesses about others and understand them better. For example, if you suspect someone is projecting catharsis, you might infer that what they’re projecting is something they possess but reject in themselves. Of course, this isn’t a 100% guarantee, but it’s useful information to consider when interacting with them.

Projection provides a lot of material for self-awareness and acceptance. Someone who can identify their own projections and has some skills can benefit from this insight.

Projections often support insecurity, fear of judgment, and low self-esteem.

There are many types of projections, but the essence is the same: something internal is externalized and perceived as coming from outside. There are certain patterns in how this happens, and these patterns are classified into types. Here are the most common and vivid ones:

Types of Projections

Catharsis Projection

This is the most striking type of projection. The saying “You dislike in others what you dislike in yourself” describes catharsis projection.

Catharsis is the process of release or relief, directed from the inside out. Catharsis projection is when “It’s hard for me to accept something in myself, but it demands my attention, so I see it in others.” For example, if I can’t admit my own laziness, I’ll be convinced that everyone around me is extremely lazy.

Mirror Projection

This is also common. It’s when you judge others based on yourself and your past experiences. You look at your past and think, “If it happened that way before, it’ll happen the same way now,” even though that might not be true. Mirror projections can also involve qualities you wish you had. For example, you wish you were more honest, so you imagine others are extremely honest.

Mirror projections often involve qualities you accept in yourself. Otherwise, you’d be aware of their absence.

• “I wear glasses and consider myself smart. I see you wearing glasses, so you must be smart too.”
• “I know I’m always tempted to cheat, so you must be tempted too. If you disagree, you’re just being evasive.”
• “You pick things up easily, it’s easy for you to talk.” (Even if there’s no evidence for this—it’s just a fantasy.)

Additional Projection

This is a subtle and, in my opinion, amusing type of projection. It’s when “I see in others what would make my behavior seem appropriate.”

• “You’re trying to intimidate me,” says someone who is already afraid, even though no one is trying to intimidate them.
• “You’re flirting with me and trying to seduce me, you temptress.” In reality, the person is feeling arousal or sexual interest, which they reject and mask as a reaction to “seduction.”

Other Types of Projections

Depending on the psychological paradigm or level of detail, many other types of projections are identified. For example, positive projection (somewhere between mirror and catharsis projection), where you project positive qualities you can’t accept in yourself. But these are more specific cases.

Experiment to Detect Projections

You’ll need a partner—let’s call him Vasily. Everyone has a Vasily, so if you’re bored during a meeting with him (he’s a pretty boring guy), you can try this projection experiment.

Besides Vasily, you’ll need two pieces of paper and two pens or pencils—one set for each of you.

Instructions: Sit across from each other in a calm environment. Place the paper and pen in front of you. Decide who will go first. Remember the rule: no talking at all. Forget you even know how to speak. During the experiment, both participants just silently observe each other. Let’s say you’re the first to go.

As the leader, spend 2–3 minutes intensely thinking about something—anything you like. You can try to “send” a thought or feeling to Vasily, or even try to “blow up his mind” with your thoughts. But you’re not allowed to verbalize anything or make obvious facial expressions. Don’t make a stone face, but don’t try too hard to make Vasily understand you. Just transmit.

Vasily’s task is to observe you and notice his own sensations and feelings. They’ll be subtle, so he’ll need to focus. He should also try to guess what you’re thinking or transmitting. Vasily writes down all his guesses and feelings. Try to maintain eye contact if possible.

After 2–3 minutes, switch roles. Now it’s your turn to “read” Vasily’s mind.

At the end, share with each other what you felt and wrote down.

Almost certainly, your perceptions will be completely different. Notice that what you “picked up” from Vasily’s mind was actually your own thoughts and feelings. Now you know how projection works.

How to Recognize a Projection

Projections are irrational. You might “know” someone is awful, even if you’ve never spoken to them. You won’t be able to give clear reasons.

Projection thrives on lack of information. Online communication and phone calls encourage projection.

Usually, projection is negative. You tend to feel discomfort when interacting with someone you’re projecting onto. But there are also positive projections, when it’s hard to accept your own positive qualities. This is less common for obvious reasons.

The Role of Projections in Therapy

In therapy, projections are often encouraged by the therapist to gain easy and clear access to the client’s unconscious. The content of a projection is always unconscious and, in some way, rejected. But it’s definitely part of the client’s personality. By provoking a projection, the therapist can quickly gather material to work with.

There are many techniques that stimulate projections: all kinds of art therapy methods, drawing, sculpture, photography, card selection, associative cards, spectrum cards, and so on. Sand therapy and fairy tale therapy are based on projection. Guided meditation is also a form of directed projection.

Projections are especially vivid in therapy groups. Participants start projecting onto each other and the therapist. This is almost inevitable. Exploring these projections can be helpful for everyone involved.