Levels of Listening: A Practical Workshop
Levels of Listening
There are several levels of listening that can be distinguished:
Level I: Superficial (Everyday) Listening
At this level, a person interprets the words of their conversation partner based on their own experience. They focus exclusively on their own feelings, barely noticing the other person’s emotions. Our attention is directed toward ourselves. While listening, we focus on what the story means to us, not to our partner. We concentrate on our own “self”: our feelings, sensations, stereotypes, and experiences. Communication at this level is like a sponge that absorbs all the information and keeps it inside. What we return to the other person is our subjective evaluation or emotions related to ourselves. Interestingly, this is often enough in many situations.
Imagine you are traveling abroad for the first time and go to a travel agency. You’re concerned about your safety, comfort, how the transfer will meet you, how to navigate a foreign country, and how critical it is not to know English. You check your travel documents several times. You need concrete answers, accurate data, and reliable information. Ultimately, you need information.
Level I listening is exactly about this. When we are clients, we are usually in the position of superficial listening, answering questions related to our own lives. Meanwhile, the salesperson next to you is likely listening at the second level.
Level II: Focused Listening
At the second level, it’s the opposite. The listener is focused entirely on the speaker. They ask many clarifying questions. The storyteller becomes the center of the universe—only the speaker and their feelings matter.
This is where the salesperson’s skill comes into play, as they must fully concentrate on their client. Sometimes, when someone is truly immersed in their conversation partner, they mirror their posture, pace, and tone of voice. Usually, this is done consciously to build trust and show engagement.
The salesperson listens not just to what the client says, but how they say it—catching facial expressions and the emotions that arise from certain associations. It’s important to hear what inspires the client, what they value, what excites, leaves them indifferent, or upsets them.
If the first level of listening is like a sponge, the second level is a mirror. We reflect back the same ideas and assessments, turning off our own “autobiography.”
An interesting observation: when a person listens from their own perspective, they often can’t believe what they just said. That’s why it’s important to listen to yourself twice, and for the salesperson, it’s crucial to catch the client’s reaction and understand which direction to take the conversation or negotiation next.
Level III: Global Listening
At the third level, the master listens “in all 360 degrees,” receiving information from everywhere and engaging all senses.
It’s as if you are in the center of a sphere where everything is alive and constantly changing. Your focus spreads to everything at once—what you see, hear, feel, and sense. You interact with everything and yet remain still. In your sphere, microwaves connect you to the world and provide all the information you need.
Here, intuition becomes very important and is widely used. Through intuition, a communication master gets the right answers not just from observation, but also through a “sixth sense.” They receive information and then notice how their response affects the client. How was your comment received?
What did you notice? Is the client open to communication or closed off? Are they calm or carefully controlling the situation? Which product feature should you emphasize to encourage a purchase?
Most people think mastering this level of listening is unattainable, but it can be found in hosts, actors, and show business professionals who are highly attuned to their audience and can adapt to them. Of course, developing deep listening skills requires a lot of practice. But once you master the art of listening, you can adjust things “on the fly” and track the results of your influence.
Exercise: Practicing the Levels of Listening
The goal of this exercise is to practice different levels of listening and learn to apply them depending on the situation. Ask a friend or colleague to spend some time with you and role-play these scenarios.
Listening at Level I
Ask your friend to talk about a recent trip—what went well and what didn’t. As they tell their story, pay attention to your own feelings and interpret their words based on your own experience. Frequently share your opinions with the storyteller. What would you have done differently? What’s happening inside you as you listen? What situation from your own life does this remind you of? What advice would you give? How could you improve the story?
After about fifteen minutes, ask your colleague how they felt and what it was like to be listened to at the first level.
Listening at Level II
Work with the same story for another fifteen minutes. Be curious. Ask questions and seek clarifications. Pay attention to your colleague’s values and how they are expressed in the story. Be fully focused on the storyteller.
Afterward, discuss with each other what it was like to listen and be listened to at the second level. How was it different from the first level?
Listening at Level III
Your task is to go somewhere you can practice third-level listening, such as a library, hotel lobby, hospital waiting room, clinic, or airport bar. Try to focus your third-level awareness on what the people around you are feeling—are they angry, upset, happy, bored, anxious, or calm? What else do you notice about the atmosphere? Observe where the energy in the room is concentrated and how it shifts when someone enters or leaves. Write down your impressions. Now close your eyes and try listening at the third level with your eyes closed. What changed for you? What do you notice now that you didn’t with your eyes open?
Variation: Ask your friend to enter the room radiating anger and irritation. Notice how people react at the third level. Or ask two friends to enter and start a loud argument. Observe how the energy changes at the third level.
Techniques for All Levels of Listening
- Paraphrasing (Echo Technique): This method involves repeating back the speaker’s statement (one or more phrases) in your own words. Paraphrasing can start with phrases like, “As I understand you…”; “Did I get it right that…”; “In your opinion…”. The main goal of the echo technique is to clarify the information received.
- Summarizing: This technique involves reproducing your partner’s words in a shortened form, summarizing the conversation. For example: “Your main objections, as I understand, are…”
- Developing the Idea: This technique differs from the first two in that it attempts to draw a logical conclusion from what was heard, helping to clarify the meaning and move the conversation forward quickly.
Additionally, there are two types of listening: non-reflective and reflective.
Non-reflective listening is the ability to listen attentively in silence, without interrupting the speaker with your own comments. This type of listening is especially useful when the speaker is expressing deep feelings such as anger or grief, wants to share their point of view, or discuss pressing issues. Responses should be minimal, such as “Yes!”, “Really!”, “Go on,” etc.
In business and other types of communication, it’s important to combine non-reflective and reflective listening.
Reflective listening is the process of decoding the meaning of messages. Reflective responses help clarify the real meaning of a message, including:
- Clarification: Asking the speaker for more details using phrases like “I didn’t understand,” “What do you mean?” “Let’s clarify,” etc.
- Reflecting feelings: Focusing on the speaker’s emotional state with phrases like “You probably feel…”, “Maybe you’re a bit upset…”, etc.
P.S. And, of course, remember the meta-model.