NLP: Speech Strategies

November 18, 2024

1. Truisms

A truism is an obviously true statement, such as:

• Everyone sleeps at some point.
• We all forget things sometimes.
• Moscow is the capital of Russia.
• You can sit on this chair.

Despite their simplicity, truisms are highly effective. For example, if you want to help someone change, you might start with, “All people can change.” No one can really argue with that, and since your client is a person, it applies to them too. Truisms help guide someone’s thinking in the direction you want.

• Businesspeople sign contracts.
• People buy washing machines.
• Spouses not only argue, but also make up.

Another way to use truisms is to build trust for what you say next. For example: “You’re always changing. The ‘Individual’ plan changes with you.” Proverbs and sayings are often used as truisms because we’re used to accepting them as truth:

• The early bird gets the worm. If you come at night or early in the morning, you can buy the product cheaper.

There are two main approaches to formulating truisms. You can talk about what’s likely happening to the person right now or something they can check:

• You’re sitting on a chair.
• The ceiling in this room is white.
• It’s spring now.

It’s also effective to add modal verbs like “can” or “are able to”:

• You can feel your breathing.

Or you can use very general statements that are universally accepted:

• People shop.
• We all make mistakes sometimes.

Again, modal verbs work well here:

• People can learn easily.
• People are capable of completely unexpected things.

2. Presuppositions

• As soon as you sit down, you’ll feel better.

Here, you’re presupposing that if one event happens (sitting down), another will follow (feeling better). The goal is to link two things—one likely to happen (or a motivation) and the outcome you want.

• Right after you walk out the door, you’ll feel much better.

For the unconscious mind, these two things become one. If one happens, the other follows automatically. Linking to a likely event is more rigid—it creates a sequence. If you use motivation as the “carrot,” you simply strengthen the desire to move in the desired direction: “If you want to be healthy, exercise.” Both approaches work, just in different ways.

Common presupposition constructions include:

• as soon as
• after
• once
• if… then
• when
• before
• despite

• While you’re brushing your teeth, you’ll remember something important.
• If you all sit down, we’ll start the lesson faster.
• Before you buy this item, take a close look at it.
• If you go into the room, close the window.

Presuppositions can also be made without linking words, just by using intonation: “Go into the room, close the window.”

• When you wake up in the morning, you’ll remember you need to bring the report today.
• After you read the contract, sign in the lower right corner.
• Before you agree, think it over again.
• When morning comes, you’ll think of me…
• Even though you’ve read less than half of this article, you already understand a lot.

Motivation
You can also link a desired action to motivation:

• Since you want to master the material even better, you’ll bring your completed homework next time.

Linking to an event is more automatic and unconscious, like a switch: you walk out the door—you remember your homework. This is useful for things someone can’t consciously do yet, like pain relief or creating new behaviors:

• As soon as you sit down, your headache will go away.

Linking to motivation is more conscious, but if the motivation is right, it can be even more powerful. It not only helps someone “remember,” but also to actually do it.

3. Contrasts

While presuppositions link two events (static things), contrasts link two processes, sometimes even in opposite directions:

• The more doubts you have, the easier the choice!

Even though doubts shouldn’t make choices easier, here they’re linked, so increasing one increases the other. Contrasts use conjunctions like:

• the more… the more
• the more… the less
• the… the
• as much as… so much

• The more you get distracted, the more attentively you listen.
• The more carefully you read the contract, the faster you’ll make a decision.
• The worse your headache, the faster it goes away.
• The more time you spend studying, the better you’ll know the subject.
• Discounts! The more you spend, the more you save.
• The higher the price, the better the product.

Contrasts can also use motivation:

• The faster you sign the contract, the sooner we’ll start deliveries.
• The more you fear joining the army, the harder you’ll have to work.
• The harder the task, the more pleasure in solving it.
• The longer the road to your goal, the sweeter the victory.

4. Questions

• Are you aware that you’re already starting to understand what presuppositions are?

This is another trap. It presupposes you already understand presuppositions, you just don’t realize it. The conscious mind looks for an answer, while the unconscious accepts “understanding presuppositions” as true. These questions often use verbs of awareness:

• are you aware
• do you understand
• do you know
• do you notice
• have you noticed
• do you remember

And any question words:

• why
• how
• when
• where
• for what

• Why do you love our restaurant?
• Do you already understand that you’re doing better and better each time?
• Do you notice the changes happening?
• Do you know that Vasya has dandruff?
• Have you realized the power of these strategies?
• Why do you spend so much time training your subordinates?
• Where did you learn to express your thoughts so well?

5. Evaluation

• I like how good you look today.

This strategy shifts the listener’s attention to the speaker’s evaluation, making the situation itself seem true. Common evaluative words include:

• important
• necessary
• strange
• like
• curious
• annoying
• surprising
• doubt
• sure
• would like

• I wish I could make decisions as quickly as you.
• Everyone is amazed by the quality of this camera.
• I’m sure you’ll be on time tomorrow.
• It’s strange that you noticed that.
• Your stubbornness annoys me.

How will someone react to a negative evaluation? Most likely emotionally, and they won’t notice the embedded command about how to evaluate their behavior. The evaluation doesn’t have to be negative—just unexpected.

• I’m impressed by how this company manages to mess everything up.

6. Changes Over Time

• Mr. Prosecutor, do you really think every question can be answered with just “Yes” or “No”?
• Yes!
• Do you still beat your wife in the mornings?

This strategy focuses on how a process develops over time (starts, continues, ends). The existence of the process itself is presupposed.

• You continue to recover.

Common words include:

• start
• continue
• finish
• so far
• already
• still
• yet

• Have you started preparing the documents?
• Keep reading this text carefully.
• Do you still want to buy this item?
• Are you already ready?
• So far, we’ve managed.
• And we can also offer additional discounts.

7. False Choices

• Do you want to buy a washing machine or a refrigerator?
• Would you rather go into trance quickly or slowly?
• Do you want your watermelon sliced or whole?

Here, you offer a choice that doesn’t matter—the important thing is what’s behind the choice. You don’t care if the watermelon is sliced or not; you care that they buy it. The focus is shifted to the choice, and the question of “to buy or not” disappears.

What’s the presupposition here?

Let’s think about the presupposition in this phrase:

• Will you go to the store before or after the movie?

Presupposition: you will go to the store. The false choice is before or after the movie. The goal is to create the illusion of choice, shifting focus from the action to its circumstances.

• Will you confirm your participation today or tomorrow?
• Where would you like to go on vacation: Spain or Cyprus?

Are false choices only questions?

Not necessarily, though it’s easier to use them as questions in conversation. The person feels active, as if they’re making the choice. But you can also use them in statements:

• Now you can buy our product in both large and small packages.

This works less strongly, but the principle is the same.

8. All Choices

• You can go into trance slowly, you can not go into trance at all, but I think you’ll go into trance very quickly.

You list all possible choices. But you highlight the one you want nonverbally—through voice, intonation, or gestures. This stays in the subconscious. You describe the undesirable result with sadness or doubt, showing you disagree, but honesty requires you to mention it. The most desirable result is emphasized with positive nonverbal cues.

Is there a presupposition here?

No. In this strategy, the desired behavior is highlighted with positive nonverbal cues (and the undesirable with negative ones). The unconsciously suggested choice becomes preferable. For example:

• You can think about it for a long time (neutral tone, head still), you can forget about it (shaking head “No” and pursing lips), or you can make a quick decision (nodding “Yes” and smiling).

Can you highlight only with speech?

Yes, especially in text. But in speech, nonverbal cues work much better.

• You can do everything tomorrow, you can do nothing at all, but I hope you’ll do it today.

Here, the undesirable option is emphasized by “nothing at all”—if you don’t do it, you’re doing nothing. The desirable option is strengthened by “I hope.” Just like in the first example, it was strengthened by “I think.”

Does it matter where the desired phrase is: beginning, middle, or end?

Yes. The beginning and end of a phrase are remembered best, the middle is often forgotten. So put your preferred option at the beginning or end:

• You can do your homework tomorrow, you can copy it, but it’s better if you do it today.

Should there always be three choices? Can there be two or five?

Two options is the previous “false choices” strategy. More than three is possible, but if the phrase is too long, your listener will forget not only the middle and beginning, but also what the whole thing was about. So 3–4 options is usually enough.

9. Negations in Commands

We don’t chase those who refuse to advertise with us, don’t wait for them after work, don’t call their homes at night, don’t send threatening letters, don’t hire thugs to rough them up.
Nothing like that happens!
Humor newspaper “Krasnaya Burda”

The unconscious mind doesn’t process negations—it just ignores them. You can use this:

• Don’t rush to start over. (Command: rush to start over)

Negations let you fit smoothly into context and bypass the conscious mind’s barriers (which can handle negations). The structure is simple: state the command, then put “don’t” in front of it.

• You’re not required to take my word for it.
• You don’t want to buy an expensive item without looking at it, do you?

How do two negations work in a sentence?

Here, the command is: “want to buy.” Whether they look at the expensive item or buy it right away doesn’t really matter.

Negations in commands can be used with other speech strategies:

• Why do you think you shouldn’t pay attention to details? (Command: pay attention to details.)
• You can buy or not buy this vacuum cleaner now. (Command: buy the vacuum cleaner now.)
• Don’t listen to me so carefully! (Command: listen to me carefully.)

For the command to work, it should be in the imperative: run, shout, speak, buy. You can also use present tense action verbs: want, get, pay attention, apply…

So all those parental shouts like “don’t run”…

Usually have the opposite effect. Even if the command is well-intentioned, the result doesn’t change. “Don’t run, you’ll fall” often leads to the child running and falling.

Other shouts likely to have the opposite effect:

• Don’t look at me!
• Don’t pay attention!
• Don’t let yourself relax!

In general, messages about what won’t happen often attract those who are very interested in that “won’t happen.”

• You won’t find much of interest here.
• We won’t talk about sex.

Negations can also be used as hidden threats:

• We’re not threatening you.
• We’re not going to beat you up.

The conscious mind swallows the negation and relaxes, but the unconscious starts to worry. These things are easier to spot nowadays (with practice), but the anxiety remains.

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