NLP: How to Construct Effective Phrases

“Don’t speak so that you can be understood; speak so that you cannot be misunderstood.” Below, we’ll share practical examples from real-life situations:

Method 1

A simple phrase: “Hey, take a break and make me some coffee.” As annoying as this might sound to your conversation partner, they’ll likely go to the kitchen and make coffee. That’s because your phrase contains two statements: “take a break” (what they want) and “make me coffee” (what you want). Their brain processes the phrase as: “If I want to rest, I need to make coffee.”

To get what you want in a conversation, start your sentence with what the other person wants. For example: “Vladimir, I want to offer you a chance to make some money by replacing the pipes in my apartment.” This way, you’re offering them an opportunity to earn money while also making it clear you want the job done cheaply. This technique can also be used in advertising.

Method 2

You want to get the phone number of a girl you like. How do you do it without getting rejected? Try this: Approach her and say, “Miss, can I ask my friend to come see you tomorrow in the afternoon to ask for your phone number so I can call you?”

Faced with such a complicated scenario for the next day, she’ll most likely just give you her number right away to avoid the hassle.

The principle here is that you’ve intentionally created a complex situation for her to imagine, making the alternative (just giving you her number now) much easier.

Method 3

There are words like: always, again, constantly, every time, etc. When people hear these words directed at them, they usually try to quickly do what’s being asked.

For example, a wife says to her husband: “Honey, your dirty socks are in the living room again, not in the laundry. You always leave them here. You’re always trying to annoy me with this. You constantly forget about it.” By using these words, she’s trying to “heat up” the situation to get the result she wants. After hearing so many of these words, the husband will try to solve the problem as quickly as possible. Using such words in conversation will often help you get what you want faster.

Method 4

Another way to get the result you want in a conversation is to partially repeat the end of your partner’s phrase, adding your own. The other person will perceive your phrase as their own, since it contains part of what they just said.

Method 5

Any sentence or phrase that starts with “Please,” “Would you be so kind,” “Dear,” and so on, will almost always help you achieve your desired result in a dialogue.

Method 6

Another technique is to put vocal emphasis on the word you want. For example: “How many animals of each pair did Moses take on the ark?” By emphasizing “each pair,” you draw attention to that part and distract from the main point. Most people will answer the question, but Moses was never on the ark-Noah was, and it’s called Noah’s Ark. Most people know this, but the emphasis misleads them.

Method 7

When talking about something your conversation partner enjoys, and they react with a smile or positive emotions, try touching them at that moment. The sensation of your touch will be associated with a pleasant moment, meaning they’ll connect you with positive memories.