Neurosis: The Oddities of Our Brain, or Fighting Fire with Fire

Once, Immanuel Kant had to part ways with a thieving servant. The theft was so distressing for the philosopher that he wanted to forget the incident as quickly as possible. To help himself, he hung a sign on his wall that read: “My servant must be forgotten.”

It’s easy to guess that the effect of this sign was about the same as the well-known request, “don’t think about a pink elephant.” Probably the worst thing you can do to forget something is to try really hard to do so. But this isn’t just about forgetting.

This story about the servant is cited by psychotherapist and founder of logotherapy Viktor Frankl in his article “Theory and Therapy of Neuroses.” In this publication, he mainly discusses the method of paradoxical intention. This therapeutic technique is successfully used for phobias, obsessive-compulsive neuroses, and sexual neuroses.

To put it simply, the method works on the principle of “fighting fire with fire.” The person is encouraged to strive for what they fear, to intensify the reactions they are trying to avoid. The paradox of this advice lies in how neurosis develops. The client’s anxiety produces exactly what they fear: trembling, sweating, obsessive thoughts, inability to reach orgasm, and so on. So, the more a person worries about these states, tries to avoid them, or get rid of obsessive thoughts, the more anxiety they experience, reinforcing the “illness” mechanism.

Practice has shown that if the client doesn’t run from the symptoms or fight them, they weaken. If, in addition, the person makes an effort to “compete” with the symptoms, over time they stop being bothersome. For example, a client who is anxious about excessive sweating is encouraged to do their best to “show everyone how well they can sweat.” The same approach is used for stuttering (if it’s caused by the mechanism described above).

The sign “My servant must be forgotten” is a good illustration of why “hyper-intention” (Frankl’s term) during sexual activity can actually interfere with it. Excessive focus on one’s actions and a “goal-oriented mindset” can cause impotence or inability to reach orgasm. The paradoxical “treatment” in this case might be, for example, to forbid the partners from having sex.

Another important point: the method of paradoxical intention involves having a humorous attitude toward your symptoms. The main thing here is to grasp the essence—and not set a reminder to “treat your neurosis with humor”…