Neurotic Habits That Destroy Self-Esteem
Many people struggle with low self-esteem, often without realizing that certain everyday habits are making things worse. Here are five common neurotic habits that can seriously undermine your confidence and sense of self-worth.
Habit #1 – “Putting Yourself Last”
Society tends to praise people who aren’t self-centered and who willingly put the needs of others before their own. While self-sacrifice can be admirable, taken to the extreme, it often leads to negative consequences. You may start to believe that you’re less important than everyone else. This can also result in feelings of resentment. Kindness and generosity are wonderful traits, but when taken too far, they can erode your self-esteem. If you constantly focus on others’ needs and neglect your own, it’s important to find ways to give yourself time and attention, too.
Habit #2 – “Excessive Apologizing”
It’s appropriate to apologize if your actions have caused inconvenience or unexpected consequences for others. However, if you find yourself apologizing for things beyond your control, it can take a heavy psychological toll. Apologizing for others or for the state of the world is like taking personal responsibility for negative events you had no part in. This leads to feelings of guilt and destroys self-esteem. If you notice you’re apologizing for things you didn’t do, try finding new ways to express empathy or compassion without taking on responsibility for what happened.
Habit #3 – “Ignoring the Gray Areas”
People with low self-esteem often see the world in black and white. There are few, if any, shades of gray. Actions are either a success or a failure. Someone either does something right or completely wrong. But in reality, things are rarely perfect. Those who divide the world into strict categories often end up judging nearly everything they do as inadequate because it doesn’t meet their standards of perfection. Being open to more possibilities and perspectives leads to a more flexible mindset, which can help your self-esteem flourish. If you find yourself labeling events as only “A” or “B,” take some time to explore alternative viewpoints and look at the situation from a different angle.
Habit #4 – “Constant Comparisons”
People with low self-esteem often fall into the trap of constantly comparing themselves to others. Measuring your own success by external standards might seem harmless, but it can be damaging. When comparison becomes the main focus, every activity turns into a simple measurement. Instead of enjoying life for what it is, those who constantly compare themselves spend their time worrying about whether they’re “good enough.” This habit can seriously limit the development of healthy self-esteem. If you find yourself always worrying about how you “fit in,” consider other ways to gain experience and satisfaction.
Habit #5 – “Sad Stories”
People with low self-esteem often retell negative stories in detail to others. Instead of sharing positive news and information, they focus on tales of conflict, hardship, and problems. This not only harms their own self-esteem (since they’re focusing on the negative side of things), but also makes it less likely that others will want to interact with them. Reduced social interaction, as you might expect, further lowers self-esteem.
Negative habits that lead to low self-esteem can take many forms. Some are obvious, while others are more subtle. Identifying and confronting these habits is an essential step in building your self-esteem. If you struggle with self-worth, pay attention to how seemingly harmless patterns of behavior might be shaping a negative outlook on life.