The Magic of Language
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” — Arthur C. Clarke
Language sleights are verbal representations of thought processes that manifest in communication by focusing attention on specific aspects of a problem space.
Beliefs and Their Influence
Beliefs are what we consider true about ourselves and our relationship with the world. Our beliefs determine what we see as possible, impossible, necessary, or inevitable.
Limiting beliefs are beliefs that create filters based on mistaken assumptions or outdated evaluations that may have once been valuable but no longer serve our grown selves.
Expanding beliefs are beliefs that allow a person to respond quickly to life, act in accordance with their own criteria and values, and learn from diversity.
Language Sleights: Expanding and Limiting
Using this distinction, we introduce the concepts of expanding language sleights (which broaden possibilities) and limiting language sleights (which narrow possibilities).
Expanding Language Sleights
These are patterns of verbal reframing and shifting the frame of a statement, expanding a person’s possibilities and enabling them to act according to their own criteria and values, and to learn from diversity.
Goals of expanding language sleights:
- Shifting attention from the problem frame to the outcome frame.
- Shifting attention from the error frame to the feedback frame.
- Shifting attention from the impossibility frame to the “as if” frame.
Basic strategy elements:
- Assume a positive intention underlying statements, beliefs, and the values and criteria that support them.
- Seek alternative, more acceptable and useful ways to fulfill these positive intentions.
Limiting Language Sleights
These are patterns of verbal reframing and shifting the frame of a statement that narrow a person’s possibilities, based on mistaken assumptions or outdated evaluations that hinder learning.
Goals of limiting language sleights:
- Shifting attention from the outcome frame to the problem frame.
- Shifting attention from the feedback frame to the error frame.
- Shifting attention from the “as if” frame to the impossibility frame.
Basic strategy elements:
- Assume a negative intention underlying the belief and the values and criteria that support it.
- Seek alternative, less acceptable and less useful ways to fulfill these intentions.
Objectives of Using Language Sleights
- Creating new connections that unite generalizations and mental models of the world, forming the mega-structure of beliefs.
- Shifting a person’s focus and expanding the problem space into a space of possibilities.
- Making “conscious” mistakes to gather information about the mental model supporting the belief statement.
Key Types of Language Sleights
Intention
Goal: Shift attention to the task or intention hidden behind the belief.
Definition: What is the positive goal or intention of this belief?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “What I especially value in your work is your mindfulness and pragmatism. That’s why I’m asking you to pay attention to this task…”
Question variant: What do you want?
Short version: You want to…
Nonverbal markers: Head tilted, upper body leaning forward, hands moving forward with open palms toward the center of the other person’s chest (metaphorically, “playing tennis”).
Reframing
Goal: Replace a word in the belief statement with a new word that has a similar meaning but a different, more positive connotation.
Definition: What word can replace one used in the belief statement to keep the meaning but add a positive subtext?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “If it’s really not rational, then you shouldn’t do it. But let’s look at the benefits…”
Question variant: Can we rephrase this less harshly?
Short version: In other words…
Nonverbal markers: Twisting hand movements (metaphorically, “turning faucets”).
Consequences
Goal: Focus attention on the positive or negative consequences of the belief or generalization, which may change or reinforce the belief.
Definition: What positive result could this belief or its relationship lead to?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “You know, that’s a good way to justify doing nothing.”
Question variant: What do you think this will lead to?
Short version: And this will lead to…
Nonverbal markers: Gestures, body, and gaze marking a timeline toward the future (metaphorically, “speaker at a podium”).
Separation
Goal: Change or reinforce a generalization by breaking down elements of the belief into smaller parts.
Definition: What smaller elements are contained in this belief, where the relationships might be richer or more positive?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “But you can at least review the assignment; there’s some rational value in it…”
Question variant: Let’s break this down?
Short version: If you pay attention to…
Nonverbal markers: Discrete hand movements marking a point in space (metaphorically, “putting a dot”).
Unification
Goal: Generalize part of the belief to a higher level, allowing for a change or reinforcement of the relationships defined by the belief.
Definition: What larger elements are contained in this belief, where the relationships might be richer or more positive?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “Everything humanity has done for thousands of years is, in a sense, pointless, but it helps us entertain ourselves…”
Question variant: What is this a part of?
Short version: In general…
Nonverbal markers: Rounded, symmetrical, expanding hand movements, body straightening and expanding from the chest (metaphorically, “qigong”).
Analogy
Goal: Find a relationship analogous to the one defined by the belief, which can challenge or reinforce the generalization.
Definition: What relationship is analogous to the one defined by the belief but has a different subtext?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “It’s pointless to save drunk people from a house they set on fire themselves, but that’s exactly what we’re going to do…”
Question variant: What does this remind you of?
Short version: It’s like…
Nonverbal markers: Hands extended toward the listener, palms up (metaphorically, “my hands are clean”).
Changing Frame Size
Goal: Reevaluate (or reinforce) the belief’s subtext in a different time frame, from the perspective of more people (or a single person), or in a broader or narrower context.
Definition: What time frame, number of people involved, or perspective could shift the subtext to a more positive one?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “If you were younger, the romantic you were when you started this profession…”
Question variant: And then? Before? From whose perspective?
Short version: Let’s look at this from a bigger (smaller, earlier) perspective…
Nonverbal markers: Hands moving from a small frame to a larger one or vice versa (metaphorically, “playing the accordion”).
Other Outcome (Criterion)
Goal: Shift to a different goal (other than the one stated in the belief) to question or justify the relevance of the belief.
Definition: What other outcome or problem might be more significant than the one in the belief?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “Pointless… yes! But it’s interesting, damn it!”
Question variant: What other criteria could we use?
Short version: Let’s talk about…
Nonverbal markers: Shifting body weight, moving to the side with a slight turn, marking criteria in space at different heights (metaphorically, “Wing Chun”).
World Model
Goal: Reevaluate (or reinforce) the belief from the perspective of a different world model.
Definition: What world model would present this belief in a different light?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “We are soldiers of our company, and soldiers have duty and an oath…”
Question variant: Who is important to you?
Short version: From the point of view of…
Nonverbal markers: Framing the opponent with vertically oriented palms (metaphorically, “fitting a frame”).
Reality Strategy
Goal: Reevaluate (or reinforce) the belief based on the fact that beliefs are created through cognitive processes of perceiving the world.
Definition: What cognitive processes are involved in creating this belief?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “Can you argue this rationally, without drama?”
Question variant: How did you find this out?
Short version: Actually…
Nonverbal markers: Hands fixed palms down below the chest (metaphorically, “now seriously”).
Counterexample
Goal: Find an exception to the rule that would challenge (or enrich) the generalization defined by the belief.
Definition: What example or experience is an exception to the rule defined by this belief?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “You’re mostly right, but you know, some processes gain meaning as they get started…”
Question variant: Has it ever been different?
Short version: It can be different…
Nonverbal markers: Head moves forward, chin up and out (pigeon nod), neck drops at the collarbone, flamboyant hand movement (usually left) toward the opponent (metaphorically, “have you seen this?”).
Hierarchy of Criteria
Goal: Reevaluate (or reinforce) the belief according to a criterion more significant than any the belief relies on.
Definition: What criterion could be more significant than those associated with this belief?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “What’s much more important is that we have funding!”
Question variant: What’s truly more important to you?
Short version: What’s much more important is…
Nonverbal markers: Straightening the torso, marking upward movement with head, body, gaze, or hands (metaphorically, “yoga”).
Apply to Self
Goal: Evaluate the belief statement according to the relationship or criteria defined by the belief itself.
Definition: How can the belief statement be evaluated by its own relationship or criteria?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “Honestly, you just said that without thinking. Take your time, sit down, think about the task, and then…”
Question variant: Do you meet your own criteria?
Short version: Let’s evaluate what you say and do by your own words…
Nonverbal markers: Either touching oneself or pointing a finger at the other’s chest (metaphorically, “did you volunteer?”).
Meta-frame
Goal: Evaluate the belief from a continuous, person-centered context—creating a belief about the belief.
Definition: What belief about this belief could change or expand its perception?
Example:
- “I won’t do this, it’s pointless.”
- “If only our actions depended on our desires. Reality is more complicated…”
Question variant: Times don’t change?
Short version: Earlier (in another context) this would have been true…
Nonverbal markers: Alternately framing small boxes with the hands along a timeline—past and future (metaphorically, “shifting the frame”).