Carl Jung and the Shadow: The Dark Sides of Human Nature

Like most people, you probably have a general idea of your desires, values, and beliefs. You choose a “personal code” that dictates how to behave in order to be a “good” person. You think you know who you are. But what if you’re wrong? What if much of what you know about yourself, your morality, and your motivations isn’t really who you are at all?

Have you ever impulsively said or done something terrible, only to deeply regret it later? “How could I do that? Why?” you ask yourself. That “why” is a blind spot. Maybe you were truly angry or hurt, but where did such a reaction come from? Perhaps losing control reveals the existence of a different person hiding beneath the carefully crafted image you present to the world.

If you’ve discovered this “other person” within yourself, congratulations—you’ve met your Shadow.

The Shadow: A General Guide

“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.”
— Carl Jung, “Aion” (1951)

The “Shadow” is a term first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung to describe those aspects of our personality that we reject and suppress. For various reasons, each of us has parts of ourselves we dislike or believe won’t be accepted by society, so we push them deep into the unconscious. Jung called all of this our Shadow.

The problem is, we’re often unaware of the parts of ourselves we reject. According to Jung’s theory, we psychologically distance ourselves from behaviors, emotions, and thoughts that seem terrible or dangerous.

Something interesting happens: instead of confronting what we dislike, our mind pretends it doesn’t exist. Aggressive impulses, taboo thoughts, shameful experiences, immoral urges, fears, irrational desires, unacceptable sexual wishes—these are just some of the shadow aspects people carry but are afraid to admit.

Examples of the Shadow in Action

• Harshly judging others, often impulsively. Maybe you’ve told a friend their outfit looks ridiculous, even though deep down you dislike standing out yourself. You needed to hear you’re witty—so you wouldn’t look silly like someone else.
• Pointing out others’ flaws due to your own insecurity. It’s easiest to do this online, hiding behind fake usernames. Just look at any comment section and you’ll find trolls calling others “stupid,” “talentless,” or “idiots.” Ironically, internet trolls are often the most insecure people.
• Speaking harshly to those with less status. This is common in customer service jobs. People often speak rudely to those who can’t answer back, trying to compensate for their own helplessness.
• Playing the victim. Instead of admitting a mistake, people paint themselves as innocent victims who had nothing to do with the situation.
• Stepping on others to achieve personal goals. People take pride in their success, rarely admitting they’ve deceived others to get there—whether on a small scale or when entire corporations cheat the public to avoid taxes.
• Prejudices and biases. People form opinions about others based solely on appearance. Sometimes this is useful for safety, but more often it’s harmful prejudice. To avoid being seen as racist, homophobic, xenophobic, or sexist, people pretend they have no such tendencies—instead of confronting and breaking down their stereotypes.
• “Messiah complex.” Some believe they’re so great they never make mistakes, justifying all their actions as attempts to “save” others. This, too, is a manifestation of the Shadow.

Projection: Seeing Our Shadow in Others

“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
— Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It’s hard to see the shadow within ourselves, so few people do. But in others? We actually enjoy it. Discussing others’ flaws is the foundation of the gossip and celebrity rumor industry.

Seeing in others what we don’t notice in ourselves is what Jung called “projection.” Since our mind refuses to acknowledge our dark sides, but they don’t disappear, we project them onto others. First we reject, then we project. It’s hard to admit we’re wrong.

For example, when I was seven, I decided to run away from home with my younger brother. We had a normal family, no problems, but I just wanted to do it. When my brother asked why, I said, “Because all kids do this.” We packed toys, cookies, and juice, opened the first-floor window, and dropped our suitcase outside. My brother jumped out, and when it was my turn, I hesitated. Looking down at the cars, I realized what a line we were about to cross. On one side was safety and my mom; on the other, the rules changed. If she found out, she’d kill us—or so I thought.

Panic made me retreat. I called my brother back, said I forgot something, and instead ran to tell my mom that my brother was trying to run away. He was waiting outside. When we went to him, the look in his eyes said everything about my betrayal. I saw myself as a “savior.”

It looked like I was just a lousy, sentimental sister (which I thought of myself). In reality, when I realized how much trouble running away would cause, I quickly found a way to protect myself from the consequences. My seven-year-old ego couldn’t accept being wrong—it would have humiliated me in my brother’s eyes. So I projected my mistake onto him and ran to mom. Subconsciously, I may have wanted to see the consequences to learn a lesson, but I didn’t want to experience them myself.

By projecting deviant behavior onto my poor little brother, whom I spoiled rotten, I avoided facing my own dangerous behavior. We all do this, believe me.

Most people don’t admit their mistakes because it’s painful and shameful. Instead of confronting this desire, they go to great lengths to prove they’re right—even if it hurts others.

Our conscious mind is where our “ego” lives—the part others see every day. When you talk about who you are, you mean this visible part. But it’s only a part. Your awareness is like a light shining on your mind, but beneath that light is a whole world of “darkness”—qualities we’re afraid to even think about.

Our ego is just the tip of the iceberg floating above the sea. Below is the unconscious mind—a huge mass of ice hidden underwater. These are our suppressed thoughts, memories, emotions, and impulses we’d rather not recall. This is our Shadow. Jung believed it quietly controls much of what we think, say, and do.

The Origin of the Shadow

Society teaches us that certain behaviors, emotions, sexual desires, and lifestyles are simply unacceptable. Those who break these rules become outcasts. As social beings, we do everything we can from childhood to “fit in.”

Whenever we cross the line (which we do often), we get hurt. Society immediately judges us—people talk, point fingers, gossip. The only way to avoid this pain is to mask it. We start telling stories about ourselves that aren’t true, and eventually, we believe them. We reject any information that makes us doubt ourselves—a phenomenon called “confirmation bias.”

The problem is, we all have qualities society condemns. People fail to meet each other’s expectations, attack others, act harshly, and so on. The “ideal” person is one who meets society’s unrealistic standards. So we pretend to be someone else! Women wear tons of makeup, men use hyped-up deodorants, we Photoshop our pictures and post them on social media—all to hide our flaws and pretend to be “perfect.” Jung called these masks “personas.”

We avoid expressing unusual ideas, pretend to be happy because “that’s what’s expected.” When asked, “How are you?” we always smile and say, “Oh, great!”

The irony is, this behavior prevents us from healing and overcoming our dark sides. The fact that society developed rules and norms is good—it makes life safer and more pleasant. But in its zeal, society created a moral code demanding everyone meet an impossible ideal. Naturally, none of us can be that way.

Explanation: The Shadow Formula

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
— Carl Jung

Jung suggested solving this problem through “Shadow work.” What we suppress doesn’t disappear—it continues to live within us. Shadow work is the process of becoming aware of the unconscious. When we understand our unconscious impulses, we can choose how to respond to them. To start, step back from your usual behavior and observe yourself from the outside. Meditation can help with this.

The next step is to ask yourself, “Why do I react to this event or person in this way?” This helps us trace our emotions back to memories that program our behavior. It’s not easy—none of us want to admit the Shadow exists. The first task is to overcome the instinctive fear of our shadows.

The biggest challenge people face when confronting the Shadow is the question: “Am I a bad person?” Admitting the Shadow means recognizing we all have dark sides we’d rather forget. Jung explained that under certain circumstances, everyone is capable of terrible things. Paradoxically, the only way to prevent this is to acknowledge our dark sides. Only then can we ensure these tendencies never take over. But we desperately resist thinking of ourselves as “bad.”

But why do people think taboo thoughts, cruel tendencies, and “wrong” desires make them “bad”? Not necessarily! That’s important to remember.

Once we realize what triggers us—suppressed fear, pain, etc.—we can accept that part of ourselves and heal. We must accept our Shadows and become stronger by overcoming our fear of them. When we start Shadow work, we’ll see that most of our shadows are the result of pain inflicted on us, and our efforts to avoid it in the future.

We must accept what happened, recognize we didn’t deserve that pain, and it’s not our fault. Only by accepting this part of ourselves can we regain our lost wholeness. For especially deep wounds, working with a therapist may be necessary.

If You Want to Save the World, Work on Your Shadow

Working on our Shadow helps us understand ourselves and become better people. The world needs us to embark on this “journey” as soon as possible.

There is also the Collective Shadow, which unites society’s basic instincts: greed, hatred, violence. If one person acts on these, the harm is limited—but if everyone does?

Just read the news or look around to see the scale of the disaster. Wars, violence, poverty—all are the result of humanity’s darkest sides.

Each of us has far more power to influence the world than we realize. We are all responsible for what happens.

Every day, we shape our society’s culture. When we smile at a stranger, we affirm kindness. When we look away and act harshly, we build a community based on distrust and hostility.

Our actions go far beyond our small world—they affect society as a whole. For example, New York has a reputation as a “rude” city. But can a city be rude? Of course not. But the people living there can be.

So it all starts with each of us. Save the world—work on your Shadow.