How to Make Friends with Your Inner Critic

We all have a harsh Inner Critic inside us—one that scolds, pressures, and weighs us down, lowering our self-esteem. But it turns out, your Inner Critic can actually become your best friend.

People are always trying to silence their Inner Critic, especially creatives who feel stuck and wish that nagging critical voice in the back of their mind would just disappear. It’s no surprise there are countless tips out there on how to “ban, silence, or destroy your Inner Critic.” By the time the creativity gurus are done, the Critic is more thoroughly eliminated than the heroes in “Kill Bill.”

But have you ever wondered why the Critic keeps coming back for more? Maybe it’s because the Critic is actually a crucial part of your creative process.

If you agree, then you know that without your Inner Critic, you’d have a big problem. Without some kind of internal quality filter, you’d happily churn out any old junk and join the ranks of mediocrity. Sharpened critical thinking is one of the things that separates a creative professional from legions of amateurs.

As musician Mike Monday puts it: “A good writer and a great writer have about the same number of ideas—some are good, some are great. But a great writer knows how to tell the difference.”

The Inner Critic of a great writer is what makes the difference, because a great writer listens more perceptively and thinks more sharply. So, the Inner Critic isn’t your enemy—it’s just an overzealous friend who judges a bit too fiercely and doesn’t consider your feelings. We all have real friends who act like that from time to time.

The trick is to bring the Critic back into the game, but in a way that makes their criticism truly constructive. You want your Critic to be like an inspiring mentor who pushes you to do your best and accepts nothing less, but in a supportive and encouraging tone.

Criticism and Creativity Aren’t Mutually Exclusive

One of the sacred cows of the creative industry is that we should separate the stages of idea generation, execution, and evaluation, because they supposedly clash. But my experience as a writer and coach suggests that many creative professionals don’t actually work that way.

When I write, I read, evaluate, and edit at the same time. I’ll write a few sentences, pause, and go back to reread them. Sometimes, it’s obvious when a thought or image isn’t clear, so I make changes right away before moving on. If I get stuck, I stop and read a whole section, trying to recapture the thread of inspiration I lost somewhere. When I see where I got tangled up, I feel relieved and can untie the knot and keep going.

I owe all of this to my Inner Critic. And I hear similar stories from many of my clients—musicians, designers, filmmakers, artists, and other creative professionals—so I’m pretty sure it’s not just a writer’s quirk.

Yes, it’s helpful to have dedicated time when you focus on coming up with ideas, tinkering with a prototype, or making a first sketch as quickly as possible. But next time you’re doing this, you might notice that you’re already engaging your sharp critical mind, even at this early stage—so you’re improving your work right from the start.

It’s also useful to set aside time to review your work, especially near the end of a project. But even when you’re critiquing your work, you’ll probably find yourself itching to redo or tweak something, calling on your free imagination to join in. Once again: creativity and criticism go hand in hand.

How to Get Your Critic Back on Your Side

So, what can you change in your work come Monday morning? Here are a few suggestions for integrating your Inner Critic into your creative process in the most helpful way:

• Experiment with one or two of these ideas at a time to see what works best for you.
• Before you start working, take a moment to reflect on the advantages of having sharp critical thinking—like understanding what makes good work, knowing how to evaluate your work, and how to improve it. Sometimes, this awareness is all it takes to calm your Critic.
• It can be helpful to create in one workspace (writing, drawing, experimenting) and review or evaluate your work in another.
• Another trick to try before you start is to tell yourself, “I’m not really starting right now, I’m just going to make a few sketches”—or jot down a few notes, or whatever your process is.
• When you’re working and your Critic starts whispering that your project is bad, ask yourself: “So what does this project need instead?” or “What should I do to make it better?”
• If the Critic keeps interfering, promise yourself that you’ll critically evaluate what you’ve done at the end of this stage—and give yourself permission to ignore the Critic and keep working with inspiration.

Reflection

• When have you been most grateful to your Inner Critic for their critical judgment?
• Do you agree that your Inner Critic could potentially be your best friend?
• Do you have any tips for using critical thinking more effectively in the creative process?