Inception: How to Plant an Idea in Someone’s Mind

For someone to do something willingly, they need to believe it was their own decision or idea. Some people are masters at this, and thanks to them, your home fills up with strange and unnecessary items, and your closet contains clothes you’d never normally wear. We end up doing things we never planned to do.

The movie “Inception” might make you think that planting your idea in someone else’s mind so it feels like their own is extremely difficult. In reality, it’s much easier—you just have to be more subtle than you might expect!

If you’ve ever found a new frying pan in your kitchen, signed up for a random course, or enthusiastically supported an idea you would have rejected yesterday, someone has already worked their magic on you.

Reverse Psychology

The art of planting your ideas in someone else’s mind is called reverse psychology.

Reverse psychology is a term describing a psychological phenomenon where attempts to persuade, educate, or promote a certain action actually provoke the opposite reaction (opposition or resistance).

This approach became especially popular in the 1990s, but the main problem was that many people misunderstood it, confusing reverse psychology with passive-aggressive behavior. For example, telling someone you want to convince not to go skydiving that you don’t care if they risk their life—“Go ahead, break your neck, it’s your problem, I warned you!”—is a very crude approach.

If you truly want to persuade someone or get them to do something that benefits you more than them, you need to use a diamond cutter, not an ax! This requires a much more delicate touch.

For instance, if you want your roommate to wash the dishes, you might usually ask directly or start washing them yourself with loud sighs and clattering plates. This only causes irritation and implies someone is lazy or messy.

How do you make someone want to do it themselves? Try saying, “I’m so tired of washing dishes that I’m thinking of switching to disposable plates. I’m heading to the store—if you want, give me some money and I’ll get you a set too.”

This approach avoids blame and makes your roommate consider alternatives. If they don’t like disposable plates, they’ll have to wash the regular ones.

Circling Around the Idea

To get someone to do something they don’t like, you need to make them think it was their own idea. This is the main rule, especially used by salespeople. But it’s easier said than done. You need to approach planting the idea as if you’re solving a mystery—slowly and steadily dropping hints until the solution you want becomes obvious.

The key is not to rush, to be careful and consistent, or else your attempt to push your idea will become too obvious.

Selling the Idea “Cheap”

“Selling” your idea cheaply is another way to plant it in someone’s mind. This is a less aggressive version of reverse psychology. Let’s say you’re a salesperson offering hard drives in 250 GB, 500 GB, and 1 TB sizes. A customer comes in wanting to spend as little as possible. All customers want the perfect option for almost nothing. Of course, you know this and can’t just offer the 1 TB drive right away. How do you guide the customer to the option that benefits you?

Your conversation might go like this:

• Customer: Can you tell me about this 250 GB drive? I want to make sure it’s right for me.
• Salesperson: What kind of computer do you have, and what do you want to use it for?
• Customer: I have a two-year-old laptop with Windows, and I want to store my photos—about 30 GB worth.
• Salesperson: I think 250 GB will be more than enough for your photos, as long as you use your laptop just for that. So as long as you only store photos, you’ll be fine.

In that last sentence, you emphasize that 250 GB is only enough for photos, but if they want to store anything else… Then you can suggest a larger drive for peace of mind. You’re just looking out for the customer’s interests, not trying to upsell them.

I have another great example of this kind of “add-on” sale. Near my house is a “Celentano” restaurant (in Kyiv), where the bartender is a master at selling you things you didn’t plan to buy. Thanks to him, crowds of customers try new dishes they’d never have ordered otherwise. His technique is brilliant! He doesn’t just rattle off, “Would you like a dessert? Coffee?” Instead, while double-checking your order, he casually starts a conversation and subtly mentions a new dessert, pizza, salad, or drink (as appropriate), saying he’s tried it himself and it reminds him of something from childhood or another popular dish. By the time you pay, you really want to try that “new and tasty” item. Plus, he has very flexible hands with long fingers, and I’ve noticed many female customers watching him, mesmerized.