Where Do Emotions Live?
In modern culture, it is common to hide and suppress our emotions, to avoid expressing our true feelings. Instead, we are expected to wear a mask, or better yet, to always keep smiling. Children are raised with prohibitions against expressing emotions: “don’t cry,” “don’t shout,” “don’t run,” “don’t make noise,” “sit quietly and calmly,” “don’t make faces.” They are forbidden from showing anger, rage, or any aggression at all.
Every emotion is a form of energy, and according to the law of conservation of energy, it doesn’t just disappear. You can suppress the expression of an emotion, but you can’t destroy it. It remains deep inside a person, unexpressed, and won’t go away until it is released.
What Are Emotions?
The word “emotion” comes from the Latin emotio, which implies action (e – “outward,” motio – “movement”). In this sense, emotion (“movement outward”) is a universal manifestation of all forms of life. As far back as 1872, Charles Darwin wrote in his book The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals: “Expressive movements of the face and body are extremely important for our well-being.” Later, Sigmund Freud discovered that therapeutic effect is achieved only when an emotion is experienced.
Each emotion is experienced by our body in its own way. Joy makes the chest feel like it’s expanding; hurt causes the chest to tighten; disgust twists the stomach; shame makes you want to “burn up” (a burning sensation in the diaphragm area); and fear causes the lower abdomen to clench. Emotions always demand expression through facial expressions (facial muscles), gestures (mainly arm and shoulder muscles), and body movements (muscles throughout the body).
But expressing emotion also requires energy, which is provided by deep breathing. For healthy emotional expression, the muscles of the face and body need to be free and flexible, and breathing should be easy and deep.
Suppressing Emotions
When we hold back the outward expression of our emotions and hide them from others, we do so by blocking their expression with our own muscles. We interfere with the normal functioning of our bodies by restricting muscle movement. If a feeling is very strong and we suppress it for a long time, muscle blocks form, which disrupt not only the expression of that specific feeling but the functioning of the entire segment of the body.
Emotional expression is suppressed by tensing muscles and blocking body segments associated with that emotion. In many cases, not only is the expression of a specific emotion blocked, but emotionality in general is reduced by lowering the body’s energy supply—weakening the depth of breathing. This is often accompanied by a tendency toward colds and respiratory illnesses. The root of blocked breathing is an unconscious fear of receiving such a surge of energy that it would break through all the muscle blocks and let the emotions out.
Consequences of Suppressing Emotions
What happens to us when we restrain ourselves and limit the expression of our feelings and emotions?
- Neuroses develop
- A distressing feeling arises that you’re not living your own life
- You do things you don’t want to do
- You suffer, justifying it by saying “everyone lives like this,” “there’s nothing you can do,” etc.
- Your loved ones don’t receive the love and tenderness you can’t express
- You “swallow” insults instead of standing up for yourself, and so on
The blocked energy “circulates” inside our bodies, searching for a way out. A person continues to feel impulses from unexpressed emotions but fights against them. As a result, instead of bringing joy and pleasure, the body brings pain and suffering, and develops illnesses (psychosomatic disorders). The person turns away from their own body, betraying it (as described in Alexander Lowen’s book Betrayal of the Body). What good can come from ignoring your own body?
Our bodies reflect our experiences.
Example: The feeling of hurt “compresses” the chest, whether or not the person shows it. Over time, if the hurt remains unexpressed, pain may develop in the back between the shoulder blades. You might go to a massage therapist, but the relief will only be temporary. You might even get a misdiagnosis—“thoracic osteochondrosis.” But until you release the chest block and express your hurt, the back pain won’t go away.
Example: Excessive mental control over emotions leads to a neck block. A “tight” neck, in turn, causes slouching, neck pain, upper respiratory illnesses, and chronic colds. (We’ll talk about what happens to the voice in this situation later.) Can a massage therapist help? Again, you might get the wrong diagnosis—“cervical osteochondrosis.” But this person could learn to express their emotions and stop holding back their cry or tears (“a lump in the throat”).
Where Do Emotions Live?
So, where do emotions live? Lowen identifies nine “basic” emotions:
- Joy — in the chest: expansion, lifting, opening
- Sadness — in the chest: contraction, shrinking
- Hurt — in the chest: shrinking, compression
- Tenderness — in the chest: pleasant warmth, expansion, “spreading”
- Anger — in the chest, rising from the pelvis, moving upward through the body: “bursting,” expansion
- Shame — in the diaphragm area (between chest and abdomen): burning sensation
- Disgust — upper abdomen: contraction, twisting, turning inside out
- Fear — lower abdomen: contraction, tightening, shrinking
- Sexual arousal — pelvic area: pleasant expansion, “spreading”
This list may seem too short. It doesn’t include many well-known emotions and feelings: rage, longing, guilt, etc. That’s because we’re talking about basic emotions. The rest are “surface” emotions, meaning they “cover” the basic ones. Under every surface emotion, there is always a basic one. The basic emotion is always more authentic and has much more energy than any surface emotion. That’s why, despite the wide variety of feelings and emotions, Lowen recommends always identifying the basic emotion for therapeutic purposes.
What Does Body-Oriented Psychotherapy Suggest?
Understanding the unity of mind and body allows body-oriented psychotherapy not only to diagnose the psychological causes of physical illnesses but also to eliminate them. Muscle blocks can be released, and people can be taught to express the feelings and emotions they have been holding back.
You can’t make your movements graceful just by lying on a couch or sitting in a chair and talking about your experiences. Such conversations are necessary and helpful, but chronic muscle tension, which leads to a loss of grace, must be addressed through movement.
“All emotions belong to the body; the mind only recognizes them.” — D.H. Lawrence
It’s scary to show your true emotions to others, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s even scary to admit them to yourself. If you answer “yes,” check the table—where does fear live? And start working on it!
Exercise: Studying Your Face
Stand in front of a mirror. Look closely at the features your face has developed over the years. What emotion do they express? Are your eyebrows raised? Is it surprise or fear? Or are they drawn together in anger? Are the corners of your mouth turned down in sadness? Or has a smile been frozen on your lips for years? Do your eyes smile too, or just your lips? Are your eyes wide open in fear? Are your lips turned outward in disgust? Or are they tensely drawn in, forming a thin line in anger? Are your cheeks puffed out like a child about to cry? Or has your face become gaunt and your muscles tense from pain and suffering? Look closely… Is this the face of someone who wants to bare their teeth? Or burst into tears? Be attentive to yourself…
“For the sake of mental health, every person should make faces at their reflection in the mirror for at least three minutes a day.”