Existential Pain: The Karpman Drama Triangle

The Karpman Drama Triangle, first described by Stephen Karpman in 1968, is a model of social interaction that has since been explored in many variations by researchers. The triangle focuses on the wide range of experiences of the Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer roles.

Psychologists Barry and Janae Weinhold, in their book “Breaking Free of the Co-Dependency Trap,” state that 98% of the world’s population is, in fact, codependent. This means the triangle is deeply rooted in social norms and beliefs. When considering how to challenge the Victim’s beliefs, it’s important to reflect on which role the “challenger” is being invited into: Rescuer? Persecutor? Or perhaps a Rescuer turning into a Persecutor? Remember, participants in the triangle can switch roles and continue the interaction, keeping the system alive.

If you observe the triangle from the outside, consider what feelings arise in you. Do you want to save someone, punish the Persecutor, or hide from it all? Most likely, you’ll also find yourself identifying with one of the roles.

The Psychologist’s Role

Paradoxically, the main task of a psychologist (if one of the participants seeks help) is to avoid the desire to change the client’s fate. This prevents the repetition of the familiar triangle dynamic. There are many technical approaches in therapy, but all must work alongside the client’s defense mechanisms.

Existential Challenges for Each Role

The Victim

The Victim’s main experiences are helplessness, inadequacy, and powerlessness. The ability to feel independent and assertive is completely suppressed. Imagine a vast chasm: on one side is the client, and on the other is the result of therapy—freedom from codependency. This chasm spans a lifetime; it can’t be bypassed, only crossed step by step, sometimes looking down in fear, sometimes retreating, sometimes inching forward on a thin rope. Behind lies a world that is unbearable to live in, but so familiar and understandable.

To process all the pain and loneliness in therapy, to look it in the eye, to feel rejected and abandoned, and then to find the strength to heal, takes significant time and effort. The central goals are:

• Helping the client recognize their right to anger and assertiveness (the therapist’s task is to show that anger toward others is possible and normal);
• Understanding that becoming oneself may end some relationships and start new ones;
• Psychological maturation (finding new sources of support and new ways of relating, without fear of being abandoned or rejected);
• Becoming aware of one’s own life force and energy.

This may require distancing from a partner or parents and finding the strength to face resistance from loved ones. The process of separation and breaking free from codependency comes from individuation—forming one’s own personality, desires, abilities, and ethical code.

The Rescuer

By saving the Victim, the Rescuer believes they are doing something good and right. But underneath, there is a need to feel important and significant. The Rescuer creates the illusion of being needed, powerful, even “great.” The main fear is admitting powerlessness—if you stop “stealing” responsibility for the Victim’s life, you face emptiness ahead.

Imagine someone whose entire life is devoted to caring for an alcoholic or a dependent relative. When the Victim breaks free from this total care, they essentially “take away” the Rescuer’s life purpose. At this point, the Rescuer may feel anger, fear, the terror of rejection, and existential emptiness. It’s hard to imagine that life will go on without you. New goals, work, hobbies, and relationships must be found. But in the process, one must face the despair and loneliness of their own existence. Is everyone ready for this? Ahead lie not only new horizons, but also the uncertainty of being.

The Persecutor

The Persecutor operates from a sense of power, strength, and control. But there is another side—unconscious or repressed—of powerlessness and vulnerability, often mixed with guilt and shame. A child who lacks a consistent parental figure, or never knows what to expect, will unconsciously try to control the parent to stay in the relationship and avoid anxiety. This pattern often generalizes and is projected into adult life. The Persecutor starts to look for their own fears and imperfections in others to avoid their own pain, guilt, and shame. This is how persecution begins.

The challenge is that no one wants to voluntarily experience these feelings; it’s easier to punish and control others than to admit vulnerability. When the Victim “rebels,” the Persecutor must face the psychological boundaries of the person they once controlled, which can trigger new cycles of blame and control. Unless the Persecutor recognizes the unbearable nature of their own feelings and their powerlessness to control others, their behavior is unlikely to change. This often requires a strong emotional jolt, triggered by the Victim’s resistance. Only by fully experiencing their own defenselessness and weakness can the Persecutor loosen their grip and remain in healthy relationships—or perhaps end them. Repeated failures and pain can eventually surface, leading the Persecutor to awareness and change.