Psychological Defense Techniques: How to Withstand Emotional Attacks

“The longer you dwell on it, the more likely you are to end up among the losers. If a person shows that they are irritated and unable to control their emotions, they should do something else, not work with people,” confidently stated Frenchman Michel Fadoul, who achieved outstanding success in global business.

Psychological resilience is a trait of a mature personality. It consists of a whole set of characteristics, such as intelligence level, worldview, attentiveness, analytical and reflective abilities, critical thinking, and emotional stability.

Ask yourself and others the “magic questions” more often: what, where, when, how, why, and for what purpose? Try to see the full panorama and dynamics of the situation, notice contradictions, inconsistencies, and gaps, and pay close attention to details. These details are essential for assessing the reliability of information.

Here are several psychological defense techniques developed and tested in our training sessions:

The “Fan” Technique

Analyze what triggers the strongest reactions in you. What irritates you? What makes you furious or plunges you into despair? Recall specific words, tones, or gestures from your opponents or offenders.

Close your eyes and remember all the most hurtful, stinging, or burning words that make you feel confused, worthless, or trigger intense aggression.

Now, imagine you are sitting across from the person delivering these psychological blows. They are saying cruel, offensive things, and you feel yourself starting to get worked up. Notice where in your body you feel the impact. Do you feel heat all over, tightness inside, or maybe your breath catches? What exactly happens to you?

Use the technique of ventilating your emotions. Imagine a powerful fan between you and your offender, instantly blowing their words away so their sharp arrows never reach you.

Additionally, make a “fig” gesture with your right hand and cover it with your left palm. Mentally direct this gesture at the person trying to throw you off balance. Remember how this same gesture helped you “get back” at offenders as a child.

Open your eyes, and you’ll likely feel more capable of withstanding such psychological blows.

The “Aquarium” Technique

If you continue to react painfully to attacks from people with a negative attitude toward you, try this technique. Imagine a thick glass aquarium wall between you and your offender. They say something unpleasant, but you only see them; you don’t hear the words, as they’re absorbed by the water and just bubble up to the surface. That’s why their words don’t affect you. You remain calm and composed, don’t fall for provocations, and don’t react to offensive words. This way, you turn the situation in your favor.

The “Disneyland” Technique

You can soften or even completely neutralize the pain of a psychological blow by treating everyone as if they were small children. After all, you don’t get offended by little kids, do you?

Imagine you’re alone against a whole group of people with a negative attitude toward you. The odds are against you. Your only chance to turn the situation around is to picture them as a group of children on a playground. They’re angry, throwing tantrums, yelling, waving their arms, dropping toys on the floor, stomping on them—doing everything they can to get a reaction from you. But you, as the wise adult, treat their antics as childish pranks and remain unflappable until they tire themselves out. You don’t take their words as insults or react to their attacks. As an adult, you might even find it amusing to watch…

The “Fox and Grapes” Technique

If you’ve had experiences in the past where someone managed to upset you so much that the feeling of defeat still lingers, use the technique of rationalization to remove negative “anchors.” Remember the fable “The Fox and the Grapes”: unable to reach the grapes, the fox said she didn’t really want them anyway—they were sour and unripe.

The “Ocean of Calm” Technique

Picture yourself as the main character in this parable: “The ocean receives the waters of many turbulent rivers, yet remains unmoved. The one into whom all thoughts and emotions flow remains passionless and at peace.”

The “Theater of the Absurd” Technique

You can use this psychological defense by taking the situation to the point of absurdity. It’s basically making a mountain out of a molehill—exaggerating what someone is only hinting at until it becomes unrecognizable, thus unexpectedly disarming your adversaries. Your goal is to make any attacks from detractors provoke nothing but laughter. That’s how you protect yourself from psychological attacks.

The “Puppet Theater” Technique

If you find it difficult to communicate with people who are emotionally significant to you, use this technique. Imagine them as caricatured characters from a puppet show. Let them say silly things to each other while you simply observe and make your own judgments. For example, “This guy is pretending to be a superhero, and that one is acting like a strong personality or a professional, but he’s actually weak and just bluffing.” Keep playing out this scene until you start to laugh. Your laughter is a sign that the technique has worked.